《老友记》第九季.doc

1、1111Friends剧本（第九季）901 The One Where No One ProposesScene: Rachels Room, Joey moves Rosss coat to get the tissues Rachel wants and the engagement ring box Mrs. Geller gave him falls out of the pocket it was inside. Joey goes to one knee, picks up the bnst a janitors closet door.Ross: Dad, what are yo

2、u doing?Mr. Geller: I think there are people in there having sex.(Ross turns to look at Joey.)Joey: It cant be me, Im standing right here.Mr. Geller: Wanna peek?Ross: No!Mr. Geller: Come on!Ross: Yknow what? I dont like you without mom. (To Joey) Come on. (Walks away.)Joey: (To Ross) Were not peekin

3、g? (Follows him.)Mr. Geller: Well Im peeking. (He peeks.) Oh my God!Chandler: Hello sir, you know Monica.Scene: Rachels Room, she is taking the ring out of Rosss jacket, looks at it, and puts it on her finger as Joey enters.Joey: Hey uh, is it okay to come in?Rachel: Of course! Oh Joey, this ring I

4、- its beautiful! I love it!Joey: Yeah uh look Rach, theres something I gotta tell ya.(Theres a knock on the door and a nurse enters carrying Emma.)Rachel: Hey!Nurse: Hey! Are you ready to try nursing again?Rachel: Yeah! Hi Emma. Hey, why do you think she wont take my breast?Nurse: Its all right hone

5、y, it takes some babies a while to get it, but dont worry. Itll happen.Joey: (watching) Yowsa! (Looks away.)Rachel: Okay sweetie, you can do it. Just open up and put it in your mouth.Joey: Dear Lord.Rachel: Im sorry honey, what were you saying?Joey: Oh uh-uh yeah, I think that - Rachel: Oh look, she

6、s pulling away again! Do you think my nipples are too big for her mouth? (Joey gets embarrassed.) She looks scared. Doesnt she look scared?Joey: Yknow, I dont really know her.Nurse: Why dont we try massaging the breast to stimulate the flow. (Does so.)Joey: (To God) Are you kidding me?!2222Rachel: I

7、ts just so frustrating! Why doesnt she want my breast?!Joey: I dont know! Maybe shes crazy! (Storms out.)Scene: The Lobby, Ross is eating a sandwich as Phoebe rushes up to him.Phoebe: Oh hey! Wait up!Ross: Hi!Phoebe: Congratulations! I didnt want to say anything in front of Joey cause I didnt know i

8、f he knew yet.Ross: What, that we had a baby? Come on lets give him a little credit, although he did eat a piece of plastic fruit eadidnt propose to you, and Chandler didnt propose to you.Rachel: Uh - You didnt propose to me, Chandler didnt propose to me, but Joey did.(Joey enters.)Ross: Joey propos

9、ed to you?Joey: I can come back.Ross: Hey, wait! Wait-wait-wait! Joey, did you propose to her?Joey: No.Rachel: Yes you did!Joey: Actually, technically, I didnt.Rachel: Well then why did you give me a ring?Ross: Wait! Whoa-whoa, you - you gave her the ring?Joey: No! No, and I did not ask her to marry

10、 me!Rachel: Yes, you did!Joey: No, I didnt!Rachel: Yes, you did!Joey: No, I didnt!Rachel: Yes, you did! And dont you say, “No, I didnt!“Joey: Ahhh!Rachel: He was right there. He got down on one knee and proposed.Ross: Whoa! You were down on one knee?Joey: Yeah. Yeah, that looks bad. But I didnt - I

11、didnt propose!Ross: Then what did happen?Rachel: Yeah, what did happen?Joey: Okay, the ring fell on the floor and I went down to pick it up and you thought I was proposing.Rachel: Yeah, but you said, “Will you marry me?“Joey: No, I didnt!Rachel: Yes, you did!Joey: No, I didnt!Rachel: Yes, you didOh

12、my God you didnt! (Screams) Well then why didnt you tell me that before?!Joey: Well I tried, but people kept coming in and then you took your breast out!3333Ross: Whoa! Hey! Whoa-whoa-whoa, you saw her breast?!Joey: (To Ross) Ill tell you about it later. Be cool.Rachel: Well then Joey, what the hell

13、 were you doing with an engagement ring?!Joey: It wasnt my ring! Its Rosss ring! Thats why I felt so bad Rach, because he was going to propose.Ross: What?!Rachel: You were gonna propose to me?Ross: Uhh - No.(An awkward silence follows.)Joey: Well, this is awkward. Ross: But I-I was going to see if y

14、know, maybe you uh, start dating again but that - I mean that-that was all, Rach.Joey: Dude, step up! I proposed.Ross: No, you didnt!Joey: Oh thats right. Theres a lot going on here and I think I ate some bad fruit earlier.(Theres a knock on the door and the Nurse enters carrying Emma.)Nurse: Hey, s

15、he just woke u In the hospital.Phoebe: Wow you guys got a hospital fetish!Ross: No I left the diapers at the hospital! Theres some in the bag but Ill run out and get some more.Rachel: Alright thanks, oh Ross could you stop by the coffee house and get me a muffin?Ross: Sure what kind?Rachel: Umm let

16、me think.What do I want, what d-o I w-a-n-t.Ross: Please take your time, its an important decision. Not like, say, I know! deciding to marry someone, this is about a muffin (opens his eyes and acts like its serious)Rachel: Blueberry.Ross: Blueberry it is.Rachel: Thanks.Monica: Wow, hes really not le

17、tting this go, is he?Rachel: God how long do you think thats gonna last?Phoebe: I dunno, well he got over the “we were on a break“ thing really quickly.Rachel: You know what? I cant even worry about that right now, cause I got the cutie little baby, oh I cant believe how much I love her, I cant get

18、enough of her, like right now I miss her I actually miss her.Phoebe: You know thats?thats her.Rachel: Oh god look at her sleeping, oh I love her so much, oh I think Im gonna wake her up.Phoebe: Oh no, Rach, no no, you know youre never supposed to wake a sleeping baby.Rachel: Well I can do whatever I

19、 want, I made her, come on little girl, hi!(Emma starts crying)Phoebe: I dont wanna say I told you so but shes kinda doing that for me.4444Rachel: Oh Im sorry mummys so sorry go back to sleep go back to sleep shh shhh! Go back to sleep(Emma continues crying in the background)Monica: Breaks your hear

20、t doesnt itPhoebe: It really does?how long do you think we have to stay?Scene: Chandlers meeting continuesMs. McKenna: Ok if everyones on board, its settled, Chandler, (Walter puts his hand on Chandlers hand, Chandler sleeping puts his hand on top of his, he then wakes up and pulls his hand away) Ch

21、andler?Chandler: Yep.Ms. McKenna: Are you on board?Chandler: (not knowing what hes saying yes to) Yes.Ms. McKenna: Then, problem solved. Chandler will be running our office in Tulsa. Youre gonna love Oklahoma.(C in the meeting this morning so when I said Id move to Tulsa, I didnt really know what I

22、was saying.Ms. McKenna: You fell asleep?Chandler: But only because I was up all night worried about this meeting, aint that funny? Irony? Not a fan, alright (he sits down). See, heres the thing. I went home and told my wife about Tulsa and she wont go. See, me, I love Tulsa, Tulsa is heaven, Tulsa i

23、s Italy. Please dont make me go there!Ms. McKenna: Chandler, I?/p Chandler: No no no! Look, Carol, can I call you Carol? .why would I when your name is Elaine? Oh what a great picture of your son, strapping . thats a picture of your daughter, isnt it, well shes lovely, I like a girl with a strong ja

24、w. Ill call you from Tulsa.Scene: Ross is at the hospital with Joey.Joey: Hey, so how is it?Ross: I broke my thumb.Joey: Your thumb, thats weird, you sure youre punching right? Make a fist. (Ross just looks at him) Maybe later. Ross I feel terrible.Ross: You know what, you can go, I just have to fil

25、l out some forms (tries to hold the pen but cant)Joey: You, you want me to help you with that?Ross: Why, does it look like Im having trouble with my misshapen claw? (He hands Joey the form)Joey: Name? (pause) I know Ross but whats it short for? You know like, like Rossle or Rosstepher.Ross: Just Ros

26、sJoey: Its pretty, OK date of birth?Ross: You know my birthday.5555Joey: Sure, Maytember.Ross: October 18th.Joey: Occupation? Dinosaurs.Ross: Actually Im a palian?Dinosaurs is fine?the drawing is not.Joey: Alright, who do you want as your emergency contact?Ross: Ah, Rachel I guess.Joey: OK, relation

27、ship, boy this could take a while.Ross: Just ah?just put roommate.Joey: Come on, you guys are more then that! I mean, youre gonna get together right?Ross: I dont think that we are.Joey: But you two were supposed to be together.Ross: Well, I thought so too, then she said shed marry you.Joey: Come on,

28、 Ross, that didnt mean anything! She just had the baby, she was all freaked out about doing it alone, she wouna call Dr. Wiener. Joey: (Laughs)Rachel: Every time? (She takes up her cell phone and starts dialing.)Joey: Uhuh.Ross: Rach, you dont have to call whenever you have a little question, okay?

29、Trust me, I know this.Rachel: All right, I trust you. (Continues to dial)Ross: Rachel, I can see you dialing! I dont understand why.Rachel: Im on the phone! (On the phone) Dr. Wiener? (Ross and Rachel walk away)Joey: (Laughs)Phoebe: Its so weird seeing Ross and Rachel with a baby. Its just so grown

30、up.Joey: I know, yeah. I feel like were all growing up. Person named Wiener, God that kills me. (Laughs)Phoebe: Look at you all grown up.Joey: Actually, you know what? I am. That whole thing with Rachel made me realize that maybe Im ready for a more serious relationship. You know? Like Id like to me

31、et a nice mature commitment-minded lady. And looks arent as important as.Nah, shes gotta be hot.Phoebe: You know, I might know somebody. Hey, how about you set me up with someone, and we double date!Joey: I can do that, yeah. How is Friday?Phoebe: Done. Oh good, really?Joey: Yeah! Phoebe: Lets see!

32、(Opens her address book.) Oh, you know whos great? Sandy Poophack. Joey: (Laughs) Poophack. (Laughs)Phoebe: Yeah. All right, well that rules out Lana TitweillerJoey: (Laughs)6666SCENE: Chandler and Monicas apartmentChandler: (Enters) Hey!Monica: Hey!Chandler: Ive got good news!Monica: You got out of

33、 the whole Tulsa thing?Chandler: Okay, I have news. You dont have to move to Tulsa. You can stay here and keep your job. Monica: Its great! How?Chandler. Well my boss and I worked out a deal where I only have to be in Tulsa four days a week, so the other three I can be here with you.Monica: So youre

34、 gonna be gone four days a week? (Thinks about it.) No.Chandler: Im sorry, are you just used to saying that?Monica: No. I cant be away from you for that long.Chandler: Really?Monica: Yeah, youre my husband. Im not gonna live in a different state than you for 208 days out of the year.Chandler: That r

35、elocated.Because I love him! No, I dont want a job in New York. Javo is looking? Oh my God! He asked for me personally? Oh my God! Oh, wow, this is really flattering, but Im moving to Tulsa. Yeah, so if you would tell Javo Ill take it!SCENE: Pediatricians officeRachel: Hi, my name is Rachel Green, I

36、 have an appointment for Emma.Receptionist: Dr. Gettleman is finishing up with a patient, he should be out shortly.Dr. Gettleman: (To a patient) I think you just have a cold, its definitely not Strep.Ross: Thanks doctor.Dr. Gettleman: Would you like a lollypop?Ross: You even have to ask?! (He grabs

37、a lollypop out of a jar) (Sees Rachel) (To Rachel) He is alive!SCENE: RestaurantPhoebe: You know, its so surprising that you and Joey have known each other for so long and Ive never heard about you.Joey: Yeah, thats because we had a bit of a falling out. Mike hit my mom with a car.Mike: No, I didnt.

38、Joey: Thats okay Mike, I have forgiven you. And now were friends again everythings great!Mary Ellen Wait, is your mom okay?Joey: Please, were trying to have a conversation. (Pushes the wine glass closer to Mary Ellen.)Mary Ellen: Wow, youre a lot nicer on Days of Our Lives.Mike: Days of Our Lives! T

39、hats why you look so familiar!Phoebe: What?!7777Mike: What?!Joey: What?!Phoebe: Do you not know each other?Joey: (Laughs) Of course we do! Mike is playing a game that we used to play in high school. Yeah, where we pretend we dont know each other. We played all kinds of games. (To Mike) Hey, remember

40、 the one where I punch you in the face for not being cool?!Phoebe: Mike, let me ask you something. How many sisters does Joey have?Mike: (Joey holds up six fingers) Six!Joey: What are you doing? I said seven! (Holds up six fingers.) (Realizes his mistake) Argh!Phoebe: Joey, why did you set me up wit

41、h a stranger?Joey: Because I forgot about our date, Im so sorry.Mike: Im sorry too. And just to be clear, I didnt hit his mother with a car.Phoebe: (To Joey) You are unbelievable! I spent so mu It goes: Old job, (Raises her hand) new job, (Raises her hand really high) you. This is just something I h

42、ave to do.Chandler: I know.Monica: I love you so much.Chandler: I know that too. (They kiss)(Joey opens the door and takes Chandlers suitcase into his own apartment.)SCENE: AirportChandler: (On cell phone) Dont worry, Ill be back before you know it. Yes it will be the same. Because I know, thats how

43、. I promise.CUT TO: Monica and Chandlers apartment.Joey: (On the phone with Chandler) Double promise? Call me when you land.Monica: Can I talk now?Joey: Okay, bye. (He hangs up the phone.)Monica: Joey?Joey: He had to board. 904 The One With The Sharks SCENE: Central Perk.Phoebe comes in.Phoebe: Oh h

44、ey Ross, oh Im so glad someones here. Could you zip me up?Ross: Sure. Phoebe: Thank you. Can you believe no one between my apartment and here offered to do that for me?. Ross: People. (Shakes his head.) So why you all dressed up? Phoebe: Oh umm. Mikes picking me up for a date. 8888Ross: Oh yea? Now

45、um, how is that going, is it getting serious?Phoebe: Oh I dunno, I dunno, you know I mean, I like him but am I ready to take my grade-A loins off the meat market? Ross: You know, I really admire your whole dating attitude, its so healthy. Im always like, is this moving to fast? Is this moving to slo

46、w? Wheres this going?Phoebe: Yeah, you know, you are a bit of a drama queen. Ross: But you, youre so much better off. You just go from guy to guy having fun and never worrying that it terms into anything serious. Phoebe: I wouldnt say never, you know. Theres that guy . well what about.OK well theres

47、 gotta be someone. Ross: There isnt. Thats what Im saying. /p Phoebe: Oh my God, youre right! Ross: I know, and yet here you are, all ready for the next date. Phoebe: I cant believe I never realized this before. Im in my 30s and never been in a long-term relationship! Oh my God! (Starts crying.) Wha

48、ts wrong with me? Ross: No, no, no theres nothing wrong with you. I mean, you dontre program about sharks.)Monica: Im gonna go freshen up, OK?Chandler: OK honey. (To himself)That was close. Cut to Rachel; phone rings.Rachel: Hello.Monica: Hey Rach, its me, OK, I just got to Chandlers room and I caug

49、ht him molesting himself. Rachel: Oh, that couldnt have been pretty. But you know, guys do that. Monica: Yeah well, the weird part is. he was getting off to a shark attack show!Rachel: Noooooo!Monica: Yes! Chandler watches shark porn!SCENE: Monicas ApartmentRachel: Well, watching sharks? Are you sure thats what he was doing?Monica: Do you know how many times Ive seen him jump up lik