演讲-论文示例分析.doc

1、实例分析实例 1Control the water pollution1. at present,the water pollution has been very serious and had a great impact on the normal life of the people(1)rivers, lakes, the sea has been contaminated, affect the survival of animals and plants(2)affect human drinking water(3)affect the sight spot2. the pre

2、vention of water pollution(1)green production(2)strengthen supervision and management(3)improve the quality of people, protect the water resourse3. the methods of sewage treatment (1) physical methods(2) chemical methods评改：Control the water pollution一个单独的动宾短语，只能作一个祈使句。而一个祈使句是不便用作标题。这里可以用一个名词短语作标题：Co

3、ntrol of Water Pollution.注意，标题中的大小写：通常，除了第一个词需要的大写之外，名词（代词），形容词，动词，副词需要大写。另外，一些比较长而且有动作意味的介词也需要大写，如 against, toward。1. at present,the water pollution has been very serious and had a great impact on the normal life of the people已经讲过，提纲必须简洁，通常不用完整的句子。可以改为：Serious impact on human beings and wild life.注

4、意，你以下具体内容既包含了对人类的影响，也包含了对其他生物的影响，可是你这部分的提纲内容与下文不符。(1)rivers, lakes, the sea has been contaminated, affect the survival of animals and plants同上。改：Effect on the survival of animals and plants(2)affect human drinking water同上：Effect on drinking water.(3)affect the sight spot同上：Effect on the sight spots.

5、注意名词可数不可数，单数还是复数。2. the prevention of water pollution注意大小写。(1)green production注意大小写。(2)strengthen supervision and management又采用了动宾短语。改：Supervision and management.(3)improve the quality of people, protect the water resourse再次用了动宾结构。不要滥用 people。如果是指中文习惯说的 “广大人民群众”，英语应该用 the public。另外，人们的素质的改善确实和重要，但是这

6、里与防治水污染并不是直接相关。实际上这里要表达的应该是“提高人们的保护水资源的意识”。改：The improvement of the public sense of water protection.这一部分的内容还应该细化。水污染的问题已经是众所周知，不用多说。而如何来解决这个问题才是比较值得讨论的。这一部分要注意权威性和理论性，不要写成一般的说明文。3. the methods of sewage treatment (1) physical methods(2) chemical methods第三部分和第二部分应该合并为一个部分。实例 280s generation1、The exp

7、lanation of the word. 2、1)They are considered to be a self-centered generation.2)the reason. 3、1) They are also more willing to try new things, heavily influenced by the Internet and more open to foreign cultures.2)give some examples.4、kids born after 1980s are fortunate.They are the witness of soci

8、al advancement,they are also the main force in national development.评改：80s generation标题大小写不规范。改：80s Generation1、The explanation of the word. 改：Definition of the term注意，这里涉及到的是一个术语而不是一个词。要注意用词准确。2、1)They are considered to be a self-centered generation.2)the reason. 这一部分应该是讨论这一代人的特点。应该把以下涉及到特点的内容全部归到这

9、一部分。并且把 example 作为这一部分每一个具体特点的细致发展支持。然后在第三部分分析各种原因。改：2. Features of the generation1).2).3)3、1) They are also more willing to try new things, heavily influenced by the Internet and more open to foreign cultures.已经讲过，提纲内容要尽量简洁。应该尽量采用单词或短语而不用完整的句子。这部分的内容应该归到第二部分。改：2. 2) willingness to try new things3)

10、heavily influenced by the Internet4) more open to foreign cultures2)give some examples.4、kids born after 1980s are fortunate. They are the witness of social advancement, they are also the main force in national development.同上，不应该用完整的句子。这些内容都应该属于这一代人的特点，应该放到第二部分去讨论。需要充实的内容：应该在第三部分比较详细地分析形成这一代人特点的各种原因。可以从他们所处的社会环境，家庭环境，心理因素等各个方面去探讨。还要注意权威性和理论性的问题，避免自己的主观武断的论断。