个人陈述教材(5).doc

1、个人陈述教材(5)Lesson Five: Intros I write award-winning operas; I manage time efficiently.Action Introduction: An Action Introduction takes the reader into the middle of an action sequence. By not building up to the story, it forces the reader to read on to find out not only the significance of this mome

2、nt in time, but what led up to and followed it. It is perfect for short essays where space must be conserved or for narrative essays that begin with a story.Examples:I promised God I would eat all my peas, but He didnt care. A confused eleven-year-old girl, I sat and listened to my father pace. With

3、 each heavy step echoing loudly throughout the silent house, my familys anxiety and anticipation mounted while awaiting news of my grandfathers health. My heart racing, I watched the clock, amazed that time could crawl so slowly. Finally, the telephone interrupted the houses solemn silence. I heard

4、my father repeating the words “yes, yes, of course.“ He then hung up the receiver and announced my grandfathers death and cancers victory.This is the kind of introduction that will immediately intrigue your reader because it begins with a very unusual declaration. The image of a little girl eating p

5、eas and hoping to acquire Gods help is charming while hinting at the solemnity of the situation described.Surrounded by thousands of stars, complete silence, and spectacular mountains, I stood atop New Hampshires Presidential Range, awestruck by natures beauty. Immediately, I realized that I must de

6、dicate my life to understanding the causes of the universes beauty.The first ten words of this essay will catch your readers attention, mainly because they create a mental image of perfect natural beauty. Note that you should try to avoid repeating key words. In this instance, it would be easy to av

7、oid repeating the words beauty.?You could simply use “magnificenc“?or“loveliness?instead.Dialogue Introduction: Like the action introduction, the dialogue introduction brings the reader directly into the action, only this time in the form of dialogue. If you are writing about an influential figure i

8、n your life, you can mention a quote from this person that exemplifies the importance that he or she had on your life.Examples:“You must stop seeing that Russian girl, “ I ordered my brother when he returned home last summer from the University of Indianapolis. Echoing the prejudiced, ignorant senti

9、ment that I had grown up with, I believed it was wrong to become seriously involved with a person who does not follow the Hindu religion and is not a member of the Indian race.Multicultural awareness is a key aspect of fitting in well at a university, and admissions officers are very aware of this.

10、Thus, it is an excellent idea to mention how you expanded your cultural sensitivity. Beginning the essay by admitting that you were once less tolerant is a compelling way to demonstrate just how much you have grown as a person.On the verge of losing consciousness, I asked myself: “Why am I doing thi

11、s?“ Why was I punishing my body? I had no answer; my mind blanked out from exhaustion and terror. I had no time to second-guess myself with a terrifying man leaning over my shoulder yelling: “You can break six minutes!“ As flecks of spit flew from his mouth and landed on the handle bar of the ergome

12、ter, I longed to be finished with my first Saturday rowing practice and my first fifteen-hundred-meter “erg test.“The power of this introduction comes from its attention to detail. The question “why am I doing this?gains support from every horrible detail: the exhaustion, the terrifying man, and the

13、 specks of spit flying from his mouth! With such strong supporting evidence, the quotation takes on a life of its own. Your reader will find himself thinking, “why would anyone do that? Id like to find out.Overarching Societal Statements: Rather than using a traditional thesis statement you can put

14、forth a societal observation that ties into the theme of your essay. This can be very effective if the statement is unique and gives a glimpse into how you view the world. It can be detrimental if your statement is debatable or unclear. Make sure that if you use this form of introduction that no adm

15、issions office will take offense to it.Examples:High school is a strange time. After three years of trying to develop an identity and friends in middle school, students are expected to mature immediately on the first day of ninth grade.Be careful not to make statements in your introduction that seem

16、 too exaggerated or unrealistic. After all, no one expects a student to immediately mature on the first day of ninth grade. Moreover, if your reader senses that you attained most of your maturity at the beginning of high school, he or she might be less than impressed with your character development.

17、 It would be better to state, students are expected to enter a new environment in which they must function with far greater maturity.To this day, the United States remains driven by the American Dream, and we often hear of immigrants who come to this country to search for opportunities that their na

18、tive countries lack. In these tales, immigrants succeed through hard work, dedication, and a little luck. As idealistic as the story may seem, I have been fortunate enough to experience its reality in the life of one very important man. His example has had great impact on my personal expectations an

19、d goals, and the manner in which I approach my own life.This is an excellent way to introduce a discussion of a person who has influenced you significantly. Instead of launching immediately into a list of this mans excellent qualities and admirable accomplishments, this introduction lays the foundat

20、ion for a comprehensive look at just why the man had such a profound impact on you. It also places the most importance on the American Dream, as is fitting in an essay like this one.Art is a reflection of ones self-identity in the most unaffected manner. Because art is very personal, it has no right or wrong. The type of art that has influenced me most is music.The first two sentences in this introduction set the kind of tone you want to maintain throughout your essay: introspective and creative. However, it moves on to a very boring and stilted structure in the third