101种骚扰同事的方法.doc

1、101 种骚扰同事的方法Leave a stack of old applications and a note saying, “Install these” 留一堆没用的旧软件和一张写着“安装这些”便条 Staple your reports in the wrong corner 用钉书钉订报告的时候订在错误的一角 Put tape over the mouse optics 在光学鼠标上粘上胶带 Unplug a co-workers monitor 拔掉某个同事的显示器接线 Talk to sick employees while wearing a dust mask 和生病的员工

2、讲话时带上一个防尘面具 Turn your earphones up all the way 把你的耳机音量调到最大 从早到晚带着耳机 Burn popcorn in the microwave 用微波炉爆（焦）爆米花 “Forget” to put your tuna sandwich in the fridge “忘记”在冰箱里放上你的金枪鱼三明治 Turn up the beep volume of the copier把复印机“哔”的音量放大 Empty the paper out of the main printer/copier 清空打印机/复印机的纸 Empty the ink

3、 or toner out of the main printer/copier 倒空打印机/复印机的墨或炭粉 Practice beat boxing 练习节奏口技 （拳击） （参考 attaboy ,Angelo 的评论） Sing show tunes 唱舞台音乐剧 Hang up the phone before they say, “good bye” 在对方说再见之前挂断电话 Slurp hot coffee during meetings 开会的时候出声地啜热咖啡 Walk around the office barefooted 光脚在办公室里四处走 Empty out a c

4、o-workers office on a Friday afternoon 星期五下午把某个员工的办公室清空 Misplace peoples pens 把人们的笔放错地方 Insert a 3.5 disk before they turn on their computer 在他们打开电脑之前插进一张软盘 Glue their mouse to the desk 把他们的鼠标粘在桌子上 Leave an open can of tuna in their desk 在他们桌上放一只开了封的金枪鱼罐头 Make a screenshot of their desktop and use i

5、t as their screensaver 把他们的电脑桌面截成一张图，然后把这张图设成屏保 Turn up the contrast on their monitor 把他们显示器的对比度调高 Talk in a funny accent 用可笑的口音说话 Use goofy event sounds for your programs 给你的电脑程序选用滑稽的事件提示音 Chant, “Yeay, I got mail!” every time you get a new email 每次收到新邮件的时候高唱“yeay, 我收到了邮件” Print out a phony pink sl

6、ip and leave It in their mailbox 打印一张假解聘通知书放到他们的信箱里 Send flowers from one co-worker to another 借某同事之名送花给另一同事 Start your car remotely when someone walk by it 有人经过的你的车时，用遥控器（远远的就）把你的车发动起来 Insist on people to have a great morning坚决要求人们应该有一个美好的早晨 Leave hole punches all over 随处乱放打孔器 Leave your lunch garb

7、age in other peoples cans 把你午餐过后的垃圾放进别人的罐头 After each sip give a refreshing, “Ahhh” 每啜一口都来一句惬意的“啊” Put salt on someones mouse pad 在别人的鼠标垫上撒盐 Set a password on someones screensaver 给别人的屏保设置密码 Carry on a conversation with someone two cubes down 坚持和两个隔间之外的人对话 Smirk when a co-worker walks by 在一个同事经过的时候傻

8、笑 Eat half of someones lunch 把别人的午餐吃掉一半 Swap co-workers chairs 调换同事的椅子 Fake stomach flu during a meeting and need to abruptly leave three or four times 开会的时候假装急性肠胃炎，突然地离开三四次 Stare deeply into your co-workers eyes when they talk to you 当同事和你讲话的时候死死盯住他们的眼睛 Take all the ice out of the community freezer

9、 把公用冷藏机里的冰都拿出来 Listen to comedy tracks and laugh hysterically 听搞笑段子并歇斯底里的大笑 Hit all the floor buttons when you leave the elevator 离开电梯之前把所有楼层的按钮都按一遍 Make hissing sounds into the phone and insist you have a bad connection 对着电话发出咝咝的声音，说是信号不好 Flip the left and right mouse button defaults 把默认的鼠标左右键倒装过来

10、Take out the ball in the mouse 取出鼠标里的滚珠 Eat sunflower seeds 吃瓜子 Tell a long story without a point 讲一个冗长且毫无主题的故事 Tell a co-worker you liked their hair better last week 告诉一个同事你更喜欢他们上一周时的头发 Anonymously send flowers to a random co-worker 匿名送花给随便哪一位同事 Bring Cheetos for food days 在食物交流日上带来的是 Cheetos 牌的零食

11、Drag your feet when you walk down the halls 拖着脚走过大厅 Exclaim your co-worker didnt wash his hands when leaving the restroom 惊叫你的同事出洗手间时没洗手 Eat stinky foods when you have lunch at your desk 午饭时在你的桌上吃些臭烘烘的食物 Practice drumming on your desk 在桌子上练习敲鼓 Use too many paper clips 用超多回形针 Fill out your time sheet

12、s incorrectly 填错你的工作时间表 Set your mobile phone to an obnoxious ring tone 给你的手机设一个烦人的铃声 Forward chain letters and other spam to co-workers 给同事转发连锁信和别的垃圾邮件 Express your political views at length 长篇大论你的政治观点 Whisper loudly 大声讲悄悄话（吹口哨） Come to work sick 生病也来上班 Drink the last cup of coffee without making a

13、 new pot 喝掉最后一杯咖啡，且不添一壶新的 Answer your mobile during meetings 开会的时候接电话 Stand over someone while they are on the phone 别人接电话的时候站在旁边监听 Sneak up behind someone 从后面突然吓别人 Mess with the thermostat 乱按一番调温器 Give everyone a pistol wink when they walk by 冲每个经过的人作手枪射击状 Gradually turn down the volume on someones

14、 phone 把某人电话音量逐渐调低 Leave unusual print outs on the printer 在打印机旁留几张内容诡异的打印件 Throw out other peoples prints 把别人的打印件扔掉 Juggle office supplies 用办公用品耍杂技 Write all your memos on bright colored paper 把你所有的备忘录写在颜色刺眼的纸上 Be overly nice to people 对人过分的亲热 Hide whiteboard erasers 藏起白板擦 Chew gum whie talking on

15、the phone 讲电话时嚼口香糖 Regularly update everyone on the current weather 定时给每个人汇报当前天气 Read your emails aloud 大声读你的 email Leave the fridge open 不关冰箱门 Shake up cans of pop in the fridge 把冰箱里的汽水瓶摇一遍 Leave fingerprints on the copier glass 在复印机（打印机的）玻璃上留下指印 Whistle all day long 从早到晚吹口哨 Wear too much cologne/p

16、erfume 撒过多的香水 Type loudly 很响地敲键盘 Wear bright colored clothes 穿颜色刺眼的衣服 Give everyone a nickname from a TV show 拿电视剧里的名字给每个人起外号 Do the sneaky walk around the office 在办公室里鬼鬼祟祟的走 Peer over the cube and wait for a co-worker to look up and notice 向别的隔断张望，等着有人抬起头来注意到 Use the intercom and page yourself 擅自使用

17、内部电话呼叫自己和记录 Swap the regular and decaf coffee 对换普通咖啡和脱咖啡因（无糖）咖啡 Hide the sugar and creamer 把咖啡里加的糖和奶藏起来 Type emails in uppercase and excessive punctuation 用大写字母写 email，并且用 n 多标点 Refer to your garbage can as your in-box 称你的垃圾桶为收件箱 Stick pencils to the ceiling in other peoples offices 在别人办公室天花板上戳（粘）铅笔

18、 Throw a bouncy ball in your office 在办公室里扔弹力球 Tell the same story over and over 一个故事翻来覆去的讲 Imitate regular sounds like a disc drive opening, door slamming or a mouse click 模仿诸如打开光驱，关门，或者点击鼠标的声音 Talk to your monitor as if it was a person把你的显示器当成人一样对其讲话 Schedule meetings at 4:00pm 把会议的时间定在下午 4 点 Talk loudly with your earphones on when someone comes to talk to you 有人过来和你交谈的时候，戴着耳机大声说话。大声对着你戴的耳机讲话。 声明：使用这些方法时请自行承担风险。对于之后所发生的一切-不论是发生在你，你的隔间，还是你的车上- 本人概不承担任何责任。