ApplicationEssay写作第五课WritingIntroductions.doc

1、Application Essay 写作 第五课 Writing Introductions Writing IntroductionsThe introduction is the first sentence of your essay and it plays the dual role of setting the theme of your essay and engaging the reader. The introduction should not be overly formal. You do not want an admissions officer to start

2、 reading your essay and think, “here we go again.“ Although admissions officers will try to give the entire essay a fair reading, they are only human - if you lose them after the first sentence, the rest of your essay will not get the attention it deserves.General TipsDont Say Too Much. Just tell th

3、e story! Your introduction should not be so complex and so lengthy that it loses the reader before they even start. You have the rest of the essay to say what you want. Theres no need to pack it all into the first sentence. This leads to the next tipDont Start Your Essay with a Summary. If you summa

4、rize, the admissions officer does not need to read the rest of your essay. You want to start your essay with something that makes the reader want to read until the very end. Once you have drawn the reader in through the first one to three sentences, the last sentence in your introductory paragraph s

5、hould explain clearly and briefly what the point of the whole essay is. That is, why you are using this person, place, or thing. What does it say about you?Create Mystery or Intrigue in your Introduction. It is not necessary or recommended that your first sentence give away the subject matter. Raise

6、 questions in the minds of the admissions officers to force them to read on. Appeal to their senses and emotions to make them relate to your subject matter.Types of IntroductionsPlease select a link below for examples and descriptions of various introductions. Academic Introduction Creative Introduc

7、tion Action Introduction Dialogue Introduction Overarching Societal Statements Personal Introduction Question Introduction Quotation IntroductionNote: The below essays were not edited by EssayEdge Editors. They appear as they were initially reviewed by admissions officers.Academic Introduction: This

8、 is the type of introduction you would use for a standardized test or a history paper. A typical standard introduction answers one or more of the six basic questions: who, what, when, where, why, and how. It gives the reader an idea of what to expect. You should try to stay away from simply restatin

9、g the question unless you are limited by a word count and need to get to the point quickly. Your basic academic introduction or thesis statement is best used as the follow-up sentence to one of the more creative introductions described below.Examples:One of the greatest challenges Ive had to overcom

10、e was moving from Iran to the United States. Iran was in deep political turmoil when I left, as it is today.Says: This introduction is clear and to the point, and will prepare your reader for the ideas you want to discuss. However, it is rather unexciting and will not immediately engage your reader.

11、 As mentioned, you should try to preface it with a more creative statement. In addition, it makes one typical error. One should usually avoid using contractions in a formal essay, for example, “Ive.“Through all of my accomplishments and disappointments, I have always been especially proud of the ded

12、ication and fervor I possess for my personal beliefs and values.Says: This is a very effective introduction to an essay about your personality. Mentioning pride is a good way to indicate how important your beliefs and values are to you. In a sentence like this, however, it would be better to use “Th

13、roughout“ rather than “Through.“ “Throughout“ better expresses the widespread, expansive tone you want to give this sentence.Creative Introduction: A creative introduction catches the reader off-guard with an opening statement that leaves the reader smiling or wondering what the rest of the essay co

14、ntains.Examples:Imagine yourself a freshman in high school, beginning your independence. As the oldest child, I was the first to begin exploring the worlds of dating, extra-curricular clubs and upperclassmen. However, one afternoon my parents sat my two sisters and me down. They saidSays: The power

15、of this introduction is that it places the reader in your shoes, making him or her more interested in what takes place in the rest of the essay. Its main mistake is that its informality gives the essay a slightly hokey or corny tone. Although a greater degree of informality is allowed in a creative

16、essay, you must be careful not to take it too far.I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I translate ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees, I write award-win

17、ning operas, I manage time efficiently. Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row.Says: This introduction is both creative and effective. It amuses the reader by listing a bizarre and probably fictitious set of achievements, thus demonstrating the writers imagination (and poking fun at the

18、 admissions process). At the same time, its light tone avoids sounding too obnoxious. As a note, you should remember that good use of semicolons will impress your reader: “I translate ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees; I write award-winning operas; I manage time efficiently.“Action Introduction: An Ac

19、tion Introduction takes the reader into the middle of an action sequence. By not building up to the story, it forces the reader to read on to find out not only the significance of this moment in time, but what led up to and followed it. It is perfect for short essays where space must be conserved or

20、 for narrative essays that begin with a story.Examples:I promised God I would eat all my peas, but He didnt care. A confused eleven-year-old girl, I sat and listened to my father pace. With each heavy step echoing loudly throughout the silent house, my familys anxiety and anticipation mounted while

21、awaiting news of my grandfathers health. My heart racing, I watched the clock, amazed that time could crawl so slowly. Finally, the telephone interrupted the houses solemn silence. I heard my father repeating the words “yes, yes, of course.“ He then hung up the receiver and announced my grandfathers

22、 death and cancers victory.Says: This is the kind of introduction that will immediately intrigue your reader because it begins with a very unusual declaration. The image of a little girl eating peas and hoping to acquire Gods help is charming while hinting at the solemnity of the situation described

23、.Surrounded by thousands of stars, complete silence, and spectacular mountains, I stood atop New Hampshires Presidential Range, awestruck by natures beauty. Immediately, I realized that I must dedicate my life to understanding the causes of the universes beauty.Says: The first ten words of this essa

24、y will catch your readers attention, mainly because they create a mental image of perfect natural beauty. Note that you should try to avoid repeating key words. In this instance, it would be easy to avoid repeating the word “beauty.“ You could simply use “magnificence“ or “loveliness“ instead.Dialog

25、ue Introduction: Like the action introduction, the dialogue introduction brings the reader directly into the action, only this time in the form of dialogue. If you are writing about an influential figure in your life, you can mention a quote from this person that exemplifies the importance that he o

26、r she had on your life.Examples:“You must stop seeing that Russian girl, “ I ordered my brother when he returned home last summer from the University of Indianapolis. Echoing the prejudiced, ignorant sentiment that I had grown up with, I believed it was wrong to become seriously involved with a pers

27、on who does not follow the Hindu religion and is not a member of the Indian race.Says: Multicultural awareness is a key aspect of fitting in well at a university, and admissions officers are very aware of this. Thus, it is an excellent idea to mention how you expanded your cultural sensitivity. Begi

28、nning the essay by admitting that you were once less tolerant is a compelling way to demonstrate just how much you have grown as a person.On the verge of losing consciousness, I asked myself: “Why am I doing this?“ Why was I punishing my body? I had no answer; my mind blanked out from exhaustion and

29、 terror. I had no time to second-guess myself with a terrifying man leaning over my shoulder yelling: “You can break six minutes!“ As flecks of spit flew from his mouth and landed on the handle bar of the ergometer, I longed to be finished with my first Saturday rowing practice and my first fifteen-

30、hundred-meter “erg test.“Says: The power of this introduction comes from its attention to detail. The question “Why am I doing this?“ gains support from every horrible detail: the exhaustion, the terrifying man, and the specks of spit flying from his mouth! With such strong supporting evidence, the

31、quotation takes on a life of its own. Your reader will find himself thinking, “Why would anyone do that? Id like to find out“Overarching Societal Statements: Rather than using a traditional thesis statement you can put forth a societal observation that ties into the theme of your essay. This can be

32、very effective if the statement is unique and gives a glimpse into how you view the world. It can be detrimental if your statement is debatable or unclear. Make sure that if you use this form of introduction that no admissions office will take offense to it.Examples:High school is a strange time. Af

33、ter three years of trying to develop an identity and friends in middle school, students are expected to mature immediately on the first day of ninth grade.温馨提示：专业的事情，交给专业的机构来完成。10 年来，监审留学一直致力于留学文书的写作服务，已经帮助过无数留学生申请到理想的大学，擅长美国，加拿大，英国和澳洲的个人陈述和推荐信写作。如果您有写作方面的需求可以 联系 QQ：970865017，按时交稿，绝不拖延，再也不用发愁。Says:

34、Be careful not to make statements in your introduction that seem too exaggerated or unrealistic. After all, no one expects a student to immediately mature on the first day of ninth grade. Moreover, if your reader senses that you attained most of your maturity at the beginning of high school, he or s

35、he might be less than impressed with your character development. It would be better to state, “students are expected to enter a new environment in which they must function with far greater maturity.“To this day, the United States remains driven by the American Dream, and we often hear of immigrants

36、who come to this country to search for opportunities that their native countries lack. In these tales, immigrants succeed through hard work, dedication, and a little luck. As idealistic as the story may seem, I have been fortunate enough to experience its reality in the life of one very important ma

37、n. His example has had great impact on my personal expectations and goals, and the manner in which I approach my own life.Says: This is an excellent way to introduce a discussion of a person who has influenced you significantly. Instead of launching immediately into a list of this mans excellent qua

38、lities and admirable accomplishments, this introduction lays the foundation for a comprehensive look at just why the man had such a profound impact on you. It also places the most importance on the American Dream, as is fitting in an essay like this one.Art is a reflection of ones self-identity in t

39、he most unaffected manner. Because art is very personal, it has no right or wrong. The type of art that has influenced me most is music.Says: The first two sentences in this introduction set the kind of tone you want to maintain throughout your essay: introspective and creative. However, it moves on

40、 to a very boring and stilted structure in the third sentence. To keep the tone creative, you could replace that sentence with the following: “Although artistic expression can take many forms, it is music that has captivated me.“Personal Introduction: The Personal Introduction takes the reader directly into your mind. It says, “This is what it is like to be me. Let me take you to my little world.“ Since there is a little voyeur in even the most stern admissions officer, this type of introduction can be very effective. It is always in the first person and usually takes an informal,