生活大爆炸第三季第一集剧本.doc

1、生活大爆炸前情回顾Previously on The Big Bang Theory.我和莱纳德 沃罗威茨 库萨帕里I am going to the Arctic Circle要去北极圈with Leonard,Walowitz,and Koothrappali.-去三个月 -没错- For three months? - Yes.你说会想我是什么意思What did you mean when you said you were going to miss me?意思是我不想你走It means I wish you werent going.三个月后谢天谢地 到家了Oh,thank Go

2、d were home.难以置信我们在那冰冷的地狱呆了 3 个月I cant believe we spent three months in that frozen hell.简直就是个噩梦 梦里漫天飞雪 而又无法醒来It was like a snowy nightmare from which there was no awakening.我不知道你们对北极考察的感想I dont know what Arctic expedition you guys were on,我只觉得意犹未尽but I thought it was a hoot and a half.你好 妈妈Oh,hi,Mo

3、m.不 我说了 到家了再打电话给你No,I told you Id call you when I got home.我还没到家呢Im not home yet.行了 到家了All right,Im home.北极考察非常成功The Arctic expedition was a remarkable success.说不定我将来能得一个诺贝尔奖Im all but certain theres a Nobel Prize in my future.其实 不应该这样说Actually,I shouldnt say that.我完全确定能得Im entirely certain.不 妈妈 我感觉

4、不到你的教会小组为我祈祷平安No,Mother,I could not feel your church group praying for my safty.就算我平安回家也不证明祈祷有效The fact that Im home safe does not prove that it worked.这个逻辑完全是个谬误The logic is post hoc ergo propter hoc.不 我没有用爱斯基摩口吻跟你顶嘴No,Im not sassing you in Eskimo talk.我去告诉佩妮我们回来了Im gonna go let Penny know were bac

5、k.妈妈 我得挂了Mother,I have to go.爱你 拜Yeah,love you. Bye.好啊 老朋友Hello,old friend.爹爹回来了Daddys home.莱纳德 你回来啦Leonard,youre back.对 我过来跟你说.Yeah. I just stopped by to say- hmph!-嗨 -嗨- Yeah. So,hi. - Hi.妈的 早知道我先来说我们回来了Damn it,I should have gone over and told her we were back.就是 先到先得嘛Yeah,it was first-come,first-

6、serve.先跟你们俩声明I just want you both to know,等我发表我的发现时When I publish my findings,我不会忘记你们的付出的I wont forget your contributions.-太好了 -谢谢- Great. - Thanks.但在诺贝尔领奖感言中不能提及你们Of course,I cant mention you in my Nobel acceptance speech,不过写传记时but when I get around to writing my memoirs,我会在注脚上提到你们或者给你们一本我签名的传记you

7、can expect a very effusive footnote and perhaps a signed copy.我们得告诉他We have to tell him.告诉我什么Tell me what?该死的瓦肯听力星际迷航Damn his Vulcan hearing.你们打算给我办派对 是吧You fellows are planning a party for me,arent you?谢尔顿 坐Okay,Sheldon,sit down.如果要搞主题派对的话 先告诉你们If theres going to be a theme I should let you know我不喜

8、欢夏威夷式 罗马式和“海底式“that I dont care for luau,toga or “under the sea.“我们会记在心里Yeah,well keep that in mind. Look.我们想谈谈在北极发生的一些事We need to talk to you about something that happened at the North Pole.如果是说没有暖气那晚的事If this is about the night the heat went out,没什么好害臊的theres nothing to be embarrassed about.不是那件事I

9、ts not about that.我们说好不再提这个And we agreed never speak of it again.不就是一起裸睡嘛So we slept together naked.这只是以防体温骤降而已It was only to keep our core body temperatures from plummeting.他还真说上了Hes speaking about it.对我觉得 这可以促进我们的感情For me,it was a bonding moment.谢尔顿 你还记得开始几周Sheldon,you remember the first few weeks

10、我们在探测磁单极子We were looking for magnetic monopoles结果一无所获And not finding anything and you were acting你变成面目可憎的大 JJ 霸主吗like an obnoxious,giant dictator?我以为要婉转点跟他说呢thought we were going to be gentle with him.所以我才加了霸主Thats why I added the “tator.“接着终于测出一些可用数据时And then when we finally got our first positive

11、data,你多高兴啊you were so happy.是啊Oh,yes.用表情字符表达就是：D笑脸 In the world of emoticons,I was colon,capital “D.“其实 你的仪器侦测的数据Well,in actuality,what your equipment detected不是范式转变单极子的证据wasnt so much evidence of paradigm-shifting monopoles那是.as it was.电动开罐刀具的静电static from the electric can opener我们在不停开关we were turn

12、ing on and off.他的表情一下变成了：O惊讶 He just went colon,capital “O.“你们篡改了我的实验You tampered with my experiment?我们别无选择We had to.只有这样你才不会变成狄更斯专家（混蛋 JJ）It was the only way to keep you from being such a huge Dickensian.懂吗 我加了专家You see that? I add the “ensian.“莱纳德知道吗Did Leonard know abouthis?他是我最好的朋友Leonards my be

13、st friend in the world.他肯定不知道Surely Leonard didnt know.其实 这是他的主意Actually,it was his idea.当然是莱纳德 试验计划是他制定的Of course it was. The whole plan weeks of Leonard.-我好想你 -我也好想你- I missed you so much. - I missed you,too你不在 我都没想其他人I couldnt even think of anyone else while you were gone.我也是Me,neither.除了没有暖气那晚Ex

14、cept for one night when the heat went out.说来话长 别问了Long story. Its. Dont ask.莱纳德Leonard.别出声Do not make a sound.你在低声说“别出声 “Whispering,“Do not make a sound.“就出声了.is a sound.该死的瓦肯听力Damn his Vulcan hearing.现在没空 谢尔顿Not a good time,Sheldon.佩妮Penny.佩妮 佩妮Penny. Penny.啊 真是要命Oh,this is ridicules.干嘛What?你好 佩妮He

15、llo,Penny我明白你现在正完全被最原始的野性冲动所控制I realize youre currently at the mercy of your primitive biological urges,可是 反正你这辈子还会有无数错误的决定 我能不能打断这一个?but as you have an entire lifetime of poor decisions ahead of you,may I interrupt this one?我也很高兴见到你 请进Its great to see you too. Come on in.沃罗威茨刚告诉我你的那个大骗局Wolowitz has

16、 informed me of your grand deception.你有没有什么要解释的Do you have anything to say for yourself?是的 我对此觉得十分难过Yes,I feel terrible about it.我绝不能原谅我自己 我也不准备你会I will never forgive myself,I dont expect you to,either,我想你应该让我留在这儿跟佩妮做一下自我检查和深刻忏悔and I would really appreciate it if you would leave me with Penny for a

17、session of self-criticism and repentance.啊 你们能不能告诉我究竟是怎么回事儿Okay,can someone please tell me whats going on here?事情是 他们让我以为我在科学研究上有了惊天动地的大发现Whats going on is I was lead to believe I was making groundbreaking strides in science,而事实上 我记录的数据是错的when in fact,I was being fed是沃罗威茨和库萨帕里false data at the hands

18、 of Wolowitz,Koothrappali还有你这个小毛毛孩儿做出来的and your furry little boy toy.真的吗Is that true?只有这样才能让他高兴啊It was the only way to make him happy.可是你干嘛非要让他高兴呢Well,whyd you have to make him happy?因为他不高兴的时候 我们都想杀了他Because when he wasnt happy,we wanted to kill him.我们甚至有过计划There was even a plan.我们打算把他的炉子扔到外头We were

19、 going to throw his kindle outside,等他出去捡的时候 把门锁上冻死他and when he went to get it,lock the door and let him freeze to death.这听起来有点过分吧That seems like a bit of an overreaction.这不是 过分的计划是把你四肢绑到No,the overreaction was the plan to tie your limbs四队雪撬狗上 然后大喊“驾 “to four different sled dog teams and yell,“Mush.“

20、听者 我们保存了原始数据Look,we kept the original data.你还是可以发表你的结果You can still publish the actual results.但是本来的结果失败了啊Yes,but the actual results are unsuccessful而我已经给大学里所有人发了电邮and Ive already sent an e-mail to everyone at the university告诉他们我证实了弦理论explaining that I have confirmed string theory并且永远地改变了人类对宇宙的认识and

21、 forever changed mans understanding of the universe.啊 真是 唉 你也许不该这么做的Aw,see,yeah,you probably shouldnt have done that.那就再写一封 告诉他们真相So write another e-mail. Set the record straight.没什么大不了的Its no big deal.你说得对 莱纳德Youre right,Leonard.没什么大不了的Its not a big deal.你不过是欺骗了我 摧毁了我的梦想All you did was lie to me,de

22、stroy my dream并且在全校人面前羞辱了我and humiliate me in front of the whole university.这个 告诉你 是讽刺That,FYI,was sarcasm.事实上 我相信这是很大很大的事情I,in fact,believe it is a big deal.哦 多可怜啊Oh,the poor thing.是啊 我很难过Yeah,I feel terrible.等等 你不去跟他谈谈吗Wait wait,arent you going to go talk to him?什么 呃 他没事的What? Uh,hell be fine.那家伙很

23、坚强的 过来么The guys a trooper. Come here.你说的对 你是不该跟他谈No,youre right- you shouldnt talk to him.该我来I will.天哪 我怎么就没一点好运呢Man,I cannot catch a break.想聊聊吗Do you want to talk?聊什么About what?聊我是怎么被朋友欺骗的吗Being betrayed by my friends?毫无意义地在北极呆了三个月Spending three months at the North Pole for nothing?我连动漫展都没去成And I d

24、idnt even get to go to Comic-Con!哦 亲爱.Oh,hon.嗯 软软的猫猫 温温的猫猫.Uh. Soft kitty,warm kitty.那是我生病时候唱的 伤心不是生病Thats for when Im sick. Sad is not sick.对不起Oh. Sorry.我不知道你伤心的歌啊I dont know your sad song.我没有伤心的歌 我又不是小孩儿I dont have a sad song. Im not a child.你知道么 我其实理解你的心情Well,you know,I do understand what youre g

25、oing through.真的吗Really?你刚刚被人抢走了服务员的Did you just have the Nobel Prize in waitressing诺贝尔奖吗stolen from you?没有 不过我高三的时候Well,no,but when I was a senior in high school,我的一个朋友听说one of my friends heard我会被选为啦啦队的队长I was going to be named head cheerleader.哦 我那个高兴啊Oh,I was so excited.我妈甚至给我烤了一个庆祝馅饼My mom even m

26、ade me a celebration pie.结果他们把队长给了那个笨透了的瓦丽瑞马斯巴赫Then they named stupid Valerie Mosbacher head cheerleader.那个贱货Big old slutbag. 你是说你认为“庆祝馅饼“ 能跟诺贝尔奖相提并论吗Are you saying that you think a “celebtion pie“ is even remotely comparable to a Nobel Prize?嗯 那馅饼很好吃呢Well,theyre pretty tasty.还有一个不同的 但并非完全无关的事情And o

27、n a different,but not unrelated topic,就看你现在对我的鼓励方式based on your current efforts to buoy my spirits,你难道真相信你能胜任拉拉队长的工作吗do you truly believe that you were ever fit to be a cheer leader?听着 谢尔顿 我只是不认为莱纳德他们真想伤害你Look,Sheldon,I just dont think that the guys and Leonard really meant to hurt you.你明白吗 他们只是为了摆脱

28、困境而撒了个很糟的谎You know? They just told an unfortunate lie to deal with a difficult situation.好吧 你知道是什么样吗Okay,you know what its like?记得那个新的星际迷航电影里Remember that scene in the new Star Trek movie柯克要占领飞船when Kirk has to take over the ship,他就对史波克说了很多谎so he tells Spock all that stuff he knew wasnt true,比如说史波克不

29、在乎他妈妈的死之类的like saying Spock didnt care his mom died?我错过了动漫展 连新的星际迷航电影也错过啦I missed Comic- Con and the new Star Trek movie!我喜欢你的新造型I like the new look.谢谢Thanks.我称之为“克鲁尼 “ 著名演员I call it “the Clooney.“我称之为“玛丽和路易 “ 超级玛丽游戏系列 不过无所谓I call it “the Mario and Luigi but whatever.嘿 谢尔顿怎么样了Hey,hows sheldon doing?

30、他早上从他房间出来 时带着黑武士头盔想用“能量”砍死我Well,he came out of his room this morning wearing his Darth Vader helmet and trying to chop me to death with the “force“所以我觉得他好点了so I would say “a little better.“请原谅我突然改变我们的话题If I may abruptly change the subject,你最终有没有跟佩妮那样did you and Penny finally. you know.-霍华德 -我本人是不关心-

31、 Howard. - Personally,I dont care, but my genitals wanted me to ask.但是我的小弟弟叫我问你，告诉你的小弟弟我跟佩妮的进展不关他的事Well tell your genitals what I do with Penny is none of their business.他说他们没发生那种事He says they didnt do it.谢尔顿 这边Sheldon,over here.你在做什么What are you doing?我替他难过well,I feel bad for the guy.谢尔顿 你为什么单独坐在那里

32、Sheldon,why are you sitting by yourself?因为我没有朋友Because I am without friends.我就像德国童谣唱的奶酪一样 独自生存Like the proverbial cheese,I stand alone.德语独自就座Evenhile seated.拜托 我们向你道歉了Come on. We said we we sorry.你的一句“我很抱歉 “和从佩妮店里面买的道歉馅饼都不能抵消你们对我犯下的罪行Its going to take more than an “Im sorry“and a store-bought apolog

33、y pie from Penny to make up for what youve done to me.嘿 库珀Hey,Cooper.我看到了你发的收回信Read your retraction email.这下你的名誉可毁了Way to destroy your reputation.看到了吧You see?整个早上人们一直指指点点嘲笑我People have been pointing and laughing at me all morning.不光是今天早上Thats not true.人们一直都在指指点点嘲笑你People have been pointing and laugh

34、ing at you your whole life.好了 我受够了All right,Ive had enough.各位请注意Attention,everyone.我是谢尔顿库珀博士Im Dr. Sheldon Cooper.正如你们中的许多来自物理系的人所知As many of you in the physics department might know,我的事业轨迹出现了小小的曲折my career trajectory has taken a minor detour.坠下了悬崖Off a cliff.我的名誉多少受到了点损坏My credibility may have been damaged彻底损坏了Completely wrecked.但是我想提醒各位的是But I would like to remind you that in science,