1、非诚勿扰剧本台词合肥工业大学17级MBA脱产班第五小组演员表主持人: 谢寰 嘉宾： 林奥 女嘉宾:1号黄佳 2号周昊;3号.李烜4号 钱昌男男嘉宾:1号刘冬梅;2号.刘树赛主持人谢寰:江苏卫视孟非的模仿者，一本正经的风格 嘉宾林奥：乐嘉的模仿者 点评犀利 说话直截了当黄佳:搞笑 周昊:搞笑 李烜:漂亮、娇嗲 钱昌男:个性、时尚、性感 刘冬梅: 犀利哥-乞丐形象，二、酷 刘树赛:高富帅 剧本正文 【主持人出场音乐】 谢寰: Hello welcome to the special dating progrmma by the HeFei University of Technology.I am
2、 the host, Xie huan. We only provide encounter,uncovered marriage. If you are single and look forward to an unforgettable encounter, sign up for our program. All right, everybody, were going to have 4 beautiful single girls today. Applause.大家好欢迎大家来到由合肥工业大学组织的新派交友节目非诚勿扰专场，我是本次节目的主持人谢寰。我们只提供邂逅不包办爱情，如果
3、你还在单身，并且期待一个难忘的邂逅，赶紧报名参与我们的节目。好的，各位，下面我们将请出今天4位靓丽的单身女生。掌声有请 音乐响起【女嘉宾出场-GIRLFRIEND】Lets welcome NO.1,Huang Jia,22 years old. 主持人:下面有请第一位女嘉宾，黄佳，22岁。Hello, everybody. My name is Huang Jia. I was the new era of women who behave well both in kitchen and hall-a typicalstandard for an ideal Chinese wife wh
4、o excels in housework and social life.Love is the most important, except love, Everything is Floating Clouds.Im the LOREAL Paris, and youre worth it. 黄佳台词:大家好我叫黄佳。我就是传说中上得了厅堂、下得了厨房、打得过流氓、斗得过小三的新时代女性。我是一个爱情至上的人，除了爱情，在我眼里，神马都是浮云。 我就是巴黎欧莱雅，你值得拥有 (搔首弄姿摆POSE，回到嘉宾席) Lets welcome NO.2,Zhou Hao,23 years old
5、. 主持人:有请第二位女嘉宾，周昊小姐，23岁。 音乐响起【女嘉宾出场-,】 Hello, everyone. My name is Zhou Hao,you can call me Sister Hao.I am 23 years old. I am the one whom is loved by everyone and when the flower sees me, it will come out. When I am in the car, the tyre will be flat.When I walk on the street,headsome men will turn
6、 their head,and beautiful women will jump off the building. I read omnilegently when I was 9 years old and reach the peak when I was 20 years old, nobody better than me in intelligence . So you can make up in appearance. My standard of mate selection is: 25-28 years old , height 176-183. Not very hi
7、gh , graduate from Peking University or Tsinghua周昊台词:大家好，我是周昊，熟悉我的人都叫我昊姐。本人年方23，人见人爱，花见花开，车见车爆胎每次行走街上，不是帅哥回头，就是美女跳楼我9岁博览群书，20岁达到顶峰，在智力上是没人比我强的，那就在外貌上弥补吧。(说“外貌”时强调并做出抚脸的动作) 我的择偶标准是:年龄25-28岁，身高176-183。我的要求一点也不高，北大或清华毕业生。(末句特别强调) (很拽地回到嘉宾席) Lets welcome NO.3,Li Xuan,22 years old.主持人:有请第三位女嘉宾，李烜小姐，22岁。
8、音乐响起【女嘉宾出场-GIRLFRIEND】 Hello I am beautiful and sweet, white skin , clever and sensible-Li Xuan. Thank you for your support.My standard of spouse selection is, Li Min Hao, fighting,fighting,fighting.李烜台词:(娃娃音娇滴滴)大家好我是人又美心又甜，皮肤白嫩身材好，聪明伶俐惹人爱的李烜。谢谢大家的支持 我的择偶标准是，李敏镐，加油加油加油 (抛飞吻，婀娜多姿地回到嘉宾席) Lets welcome
9、NO.4,Qian Changnan,22 years old.主持人:有请第四位女嘉宾钱昌男，22岁。 音乐响起【女嘉宾搞笑出场-甩葱歌】 Hello, everyone. I am Qian Changnan. A beautiful woman just like me, no matter what is place, I like fireflies in the dark, so bright, so outstanding.Look at me,my S shape ecstasy, outstanding dancing, and my sexy lips, are deepl
10、y betrayed me.My spouse is money cannot be equal, but feeling must be right. Thank you.台词:大家好我是钱昌男。像我这样美丽的女人，不管在什么地方，就好像漆黑中的萤火虫一样，是那么的鲜明，那么的出众，我销魂的S型身材，神乎其技的舞技，还有我性感的嘴唇，都深深的出卖了我啊 我的择偶标准是，不求门当户对，只求感觉到位。谢谢大家 (鞠躬，回到嘉宾席) Welcome four beautiful ladies. The rules are following:First, the male guests intro
11、duce themselves. Second, ask questions freely.like or unlike. Yes or no. Its up to you.Are you ready?Lets welcome Liu Dongmei, the first guest- Brother Sharp.谢寰:欢迎四位美丽的女嘉宾。下面介绍节目规则。我们这里的规则非常简单，首先是男嘉宾自我介绍，接下来自由问答，一切喜欢不喜欢，yes or no.都在你们手里的这块牌子上。 各位都准备好了吗,让我们有请今天的一号男嘉宾刘冬梅-犀利哥。 【犀利哥出场音乐-上海滩主题曲】Hi，Beauti
12、es.My name is Xi Li Ge. Walk through north to south, drinked water behind the toilet, stretched legs on the train, and kissed foolers mouth. Today, I come to there to pursuit my soulmate.刘冬梅:(威风凌凌走模特步出场，手持一根雪茄烟)大家好，我叫犀利哥。哥哥我走过南来闯过北，厕所后面喝过水，火车道上压过腿，还和傻子亲过嘴。今天来到非诚勿扰的舞台，目标是执子之手，将子拖走Wa-oh，youre so cool林
13、奥:哎呦，犀利哥，你这走路的姿势帅呆啦。 Im walking is not the way,is life.刘冬梅:哥走的不是路，是人生。 Ladies,do you like him？谢寰:女嘉宾们，他的外型你们喜欢吗,Huan huan,women loves bad man,is not appearance is bad.钱昌男 :寰寰（模仿甄嬛传皇帝的口吻），我们女人喜欢长的坏坏的男人，并不是喜欢长坏了的男人。 Oppa,youre so handsome.Someone like you is not need a blind date.黄佳:偶吧你太帅啦，像你这样的人还用得着来
14、相亲吗, All right.Someone think me look like an idol.刘冬梅:没错。是有人说过我很偶像派。I like you.What is your job? 黄佳:我还挺喜欢你的，你的职业是什么, I dont need money,I need unrestrained.刘冬梅:哥要的不是钱，是潇洒。 Have you consider change your career in the future?黄佳:你有没有考虑未来换一下职业, I choose, I like刘冬梅:我选择，我喜欢 Hello, A bit closer, ok?Let me h
15、ave a see see.李烜:男嘉宾，能靠近一点，让我看看吗, 刘冬梅走上前。 SighDistance is better than playing李烜:哎哟，猛得一看你不怎么样，仔细一看，还不如猛地一看。You are too foolish.周昊:长得确实挺井的。横竖都是二 The female guests mouth is really sharp. Now, the heartbeat time ,please make your choose 谢寰:女嘉宾的嘴果真很厉害啊现在心动时刻请选择。 全部举X He know he has no advantage in his ap
16、pearance, so he choose a cool route. The girls thinking is that if you are not handsome but you want to be handsome, they will be despise you.林奥点评：他清楚自己的外表不具有优势，所以走的是酷酷的路线。女孩的心理是，如果你不帅却要扮帅，我会超级鄙视你。What a pity！OK，next one.Lets welcome NO.2-Liu Shusai.谢寰:很遗憾，第一位男嘉宾未能成功，下面掌声有请二号男嘉宾刘树赛。 Afternoon.My nam
17、e is Liu Shusai,come from Ma Lanshan.刘树赛:大家好我是刘树赛，来自马栏山。 Welcome,Shusai. From the reaction of the female guests, you are quite attracting. I wish you a success.谢寰:哦，刘树赛，欢迎你。从女嘉宾的反应来看，你相当受欢迎哦，希望你今天能成功牵手。 I have repeatedly stressed that people must keep a low profile,why you give me so much applauses
18、and scream?刘树赛:我一再强调做人要低调。可你们非要给我掌声和尖叫。They cannot hold back any longer.Sister Hao, What do you want to ask?谢寰:女嘉宾们已经按捺不住了，昊姐，你有什么想问的, Saisai, What do you think about me?昊姐:男嘉宾，你觉得我怎么样, You are very creative, absolutely abstract, quite refreshing.刘树赛:女嘉宾，你长的很有创意，绝对是抽象派，相当提神 昊姐气呼呼举X牌。 Mr.Liu,do you l
19、ike kids?钱昌男:男嘉宾，你喜欢小孩吗, Yes, of course. I even think out my sons name-“handsome“, so the people will call me “handsome father”.刘树赛:当然喜欢啊，我连名字都想好了。我以后生个儿子名字要叫“好帅”，那别人看到我就会说:“好帅的爸爸” You are very humor.钱昌男:男嘉宾你很幽默。 I think you look like a person李烜:男嘉宾，我觉得你长的很像一个人。 Oh,really?刘树赛:哦,是吗, Yep. Like my next
20、 boyfriend李烜:是啊，很像我下一任男友哦 (刘树赛不好意思地挠头，笑了笑) OK,ladies.Its time to make your choose.谢寰:好了，姑娘们，现在该表态了，请拿出你们手中的举牌亮出来 黄佳、李烜举O，其他人举X 【女嘉宾灭灯音效-2盏】 Ok. Two ladies have left the lights.Shusai,now you can express your heart.谢寰:好，有两位女嘉宾为我们的男嘉宾留灯了。男嘉宾，现在你有机会向自己的心动女生表白。 音乐响起【男嘉宾表白音乐-这就是爱】 (刘树赛走到黄佳面前，拿出一支红玫瑰。) Ji
21、ajia,I have a lot of cars,houses , diamond rings and a heart of forever love for you. Are you willing to fall in love with me?刘树赛:女嘉宾，我不但有车、有钱、有房、有钻戒，更有一颗陪你到老的心。你愿意吗, I do.黄佳:(感动地热泪盈眶)我愿意 两人甜蜜牵手。 音乐响起【配对成功音乐-罗密欧与朱丽叶】Love and marriage, if you can find a handsome/beautiful,rich partners, is good. But
22、love or marriage is like a siege, the people outside of the city want to go in, in the same time ,the men inside the city want to get out. How to keep up affections of those，they need think deeply and running-in. Bless them.林奥点评：恋爱婚姻，如果能找得一个高富帅或白富美做伴侣，自然是相当的好，可是，生活还是要继续，找到了看似相当完美的另一半作为终生依靠，那么是不是就高枕无
23、忧了呢？走进了围城，也还是有很多功课要做的，这个是我们需要思考的。祝福他们！Thank Mr. Lin Ao for his comments. Lets give a warm applause to congratulate Shusai and Jiajia, and they will have a 7 day tour in Maldives. Todays “special program“ is end, see you next time谢寰:感谢林奥老师的点评。让我们以热烈的掌声恭喜两位牵手成功，同时他们将获得马尔代夫7日游。今天的“非诚勿扰2017年特别节目”到此结束，我们下期节目再见 音乐持续【罗密欧与朱丽叶】音量加大
