1、CABIN PRESSURE 2x03 IpswichOPENING CREDITS - This week, Ipswich!DOUGLAS: Golf Tango India, continue as cleared. Thank you, Shannon.MARTIN: Do you want any more of this, Douglas?DOUGLAS: No, I dont think so, I think Im done.MARTIN: All right. Arthur!ARTHUR: Yeah, Skip.MARTIN: Cheese tray is now open
2、to Arthurs.ARTHUR: Oh, brilliant! Thanks, chaps. Oh, wow, almost a whole squidgy one! (unwraps and chews loudly) Its funny, this is like something I saw on a wildlife show last night.DOUGLAS: I was just thinking something similar myself.ARTHUR: No, it was these African hunting dogs, and what theyve
3、got is theyve got an alpha dog, beta dogs, and “amigo“ dogs.MARTIN: Amigo dogs?DOUGLAS: Surely youve heard of amigo dogs. Spanish breed, very friendly, often found in threes.MARTIN: Omega? Do you mean omega?ARTHUR: (still chewing) Oh, yeah, maybe. Anyway, when they kill something, the alpha dog eats
4、 as much as he wants first, then the beta dogs have a go, and then the “amigo“ dogs have the leftovers. And thats like us, isnt it?MARTIN: Well, not really, because Douglas and I share the cheese tray.ARTHUR: So?MARTIN: Well, so the alpha dog and the beta dog are eating together.DOUGLAS: And which i
5、s which, pray?MARTIN: I think thats perfectly obvious, dont you?DOUGLAS: Yes, I do.MARTIN: So do I.DOUGLAS: Good.ARTHUR: No, no, I meant youre the two beta dogs.MARTIN: What?ARTHUR: Because Mum always has the Camembert off the tray before I bring it in?MARTIN: What?!DOUGLAS: Theres Camembert?! We ne
6、ver get any Camembert!ARTHUR: Though thinking about it, that is a secret.MARTIN: Carolyn!(door opens)CAROLYN: Gentlemen!DOUGLAS: Carolyn, we have a complaint.CAROLYN: Oh dear me. Tell you what, why dont you write it down, put it in an envelope, tear it in half, throw it away and shut your face. In t
7、he mean time, attend: are you busy on Monday?MARTIN and DOUGLAS: Yes.CAROLYN: Quite right, full marks. Now, prepare to learn what it is you will be busy doing.MARTIN: No, Carolyn, Mondays a day off. Its been on the wall chart for ages.CAROLYN: Wall charts can lie, Martin, notoriously deceitful, the
8、wall chart. Anyway, on Monday youll be delighted to learn I have booked us a refresher SEP course.MARTIN: Oh, no!DOUGLAS: Carolyn!ARTHUR: Whats a. that?MARTIN: Safety and Emergency Procedures. Amongst other things, jumping into a cold swimming pool in uniform and scrambling into life rafts.ARTHUR: B
9、rilliant!MARTIN: No, thats a bad. Oh, never mind.DOUGLAS: Carolyn, I dont need a refresher.CAROLYN: course you do. Procedures change, Douglas. Aircraft change.DOUGLAS: The only time this aircraft changes is when another bit falls off it.CAROLYN: Well, procedures change.DOUGLAS: Is it still pull to g
10、o up, push to go down?CAROLYN: Yes.DOUGLAS: Im fine then.CAROLYN: You are all going, because if you dont, the CAA will stop you flying, and although Heaven knows thats not a bad idea, my job depends on preventing it.ARTHUR: Where is it?CAROLYN: Ipswich.ARTHUR: Oh, brilliant, where I went before. Wil
11、l there be more learning how to understand people?CAROLYN: No, Arthur, I think you understand as much about people as you ever will.ARTHUR: Thanks, Mum, what a nice thing to say.CAROLYN: Case in point.(sounds of cars, loud honking)CAROLYN: Oh, pipe down! Do you not have overtaking in Ipswich?ARTHUR:
12、 Give me another one, Mum.CAROLYN: All right. How many loud hailers are there in the aft cabinet?ARTHUR: OK. And aft is the. one at the. front?CAROLYN: Back.ARTHUR: Back, back, I meant back.CAROLYN: The fore comes before the aft that comes after.DOUGLAS: I havent heard that one before.CAROLYN: Thats
13、 because no one but Arthur has ever needed a mnemonic for fore and aft.MARTIN: Two in the aft cabinet, none in the fore, one in the flight deck.CAROLYN: Yes, Martin, but please try and let Arthur answer one.DOUGLAS: How do you know all this stuff, Martin?MARTIN: It is my duty to be familiar with the
14、 safety equipment of the aircraft I command.DOUGLAS: Goodness. Harken to the mighty woof of the alpha dog.CAROLYN: What?DOUGLAS: Arthur was telling us about that documentary. Martin is labouring under the delusion that he is the alpha dog in this organisation.CAROLYN: Aha! Whereas you of course corr
15、ectly reminded him that I am.DOUGLAS: You have the loudest bark, certainly, but I like to think I am the one who brings down the hartebeest.ARTHUR: Douglas, you give me a question.DOUGLAS: Oh, I dont know any of this stuff.MARTIN: Then how do you think youre gonna pass the exam?DOUGLAS: Luck.MARTIN:
16、 You cant rely on luck!DOUGLAS: You cant rely on luck.ARTHUR: Skip, you give me one.MARTIN: All right. At what number of passengers does it become compulsory to carry at least one flight attendant?ARTHUR: Well, we always carry at least one, so therefore. no passengers?MARTIN: No, nineteen.ARTHUR: Oh
17、, all right. It depends though.MARTIN: No, no, it doesnt depend. The answer is nineteen.ARTHUR: Yeah, but if its somewhere nice Mum will come. Or if the passengers are important. Or if shes bored.MARTIN: Yes, but if you say any of that, youll fail, whereas if you say 19, you wont fail. Do you unders
18、tand that? 19, 19 passengers, one cabin crew. 19.DOUGLAS: 19.MARTIN: 19.CAROLYN: Will you all please stop saying 19?ARTHUR: I didnt say 19!MARTIN: That is exactly the problem!(car stops)DR DUNCAN: Hello! Hello! Miss Knapp-Shappey?CAROLYN: Thats right, yes.DR DUNCAN: Hello, Im Dr Duncan, Peter Duncan
19、, not the Peter Duncan.CAROLYN: Not which Peter Duncan?DR DUNCAN: Whos Peter Duncan?DR DUNCAN: Peter Duncan, from Blue Peter in the 80s. And Duncan Dares.ARTHUR: Oh yes, I remember him! He was great!DR DUNCAN: Yes, well, Im not him. A-ha-ha!ARTHUR: Oh.CAROLYN: Jolly good, now this is Captain Martin
20、Crieff, First Officer Douglas Richardson-DR DUNCAN: Hello-CAROLYN: No, no, no, the other way around.MARTIN: Oh, for the love of.CAROLYN: And Arthur Shappey, steward.DR DUNCAN: Right, so, youre the advanced guard, are you?CAROLYN: How do you mean?DR DUNCAN: Well, just that the others havent arrived y
21、et.CAROLYN: Which others would those be?DR DUNCAN: Well, the. rest of the airline?CAROLYN: Dr Duncan, you see before you. the airline! Drink us in.DR DUNCAN: Theres four hundred of you?CAROLYN: Are there though? Count again.DR DUNCAN: Not 400.CAROLYN: Four.DR DUNCAN: Right. Thats unfortunate. I shou
22、ld probably speak to catering. Anyway, welcome, Ill be looking after the classroom side of things, and Mr Sargent - Mr Sargent! Can I borrow you?MR SARGENT: Good morning!DR DUNCAN: After a quick CRM lecture, Mr Sargent will be putting you through the pool drill, then after lunch well have the exam a
23、nd finally, Mr Sargent will take you through the smoke-filled fuselage.DOUGLAS: Metaphorically?MR SARGENT: No, sir, not metaphorically, sir, no. We ad a bit of a job gettin our ands on a metaphorical fuselage, sir, and even if you can track one down its a bugger to unfill it with a simile of some sm
24、oke.DOUGLAS: I see. Tell me, Mr Sargent, were you in the RAF by any chance?MR SARGENT: I certainly was.DOUGLAS: And were you a sergeant, Mr Sargent?MR SARGENT: No, sir, I wasnt a sergeant, because as we just established, I was in the RA bleedin F, not the bleedin army, so I was a warrant officer. Bu
25、t since my name is not Warren Tofficer, this occasioned no bleedin mirth whatsoever.DR DUNCAN: Right, good! Good to get that sorted out, now if youll excuse me, Im just gonna dash off and do what I can to hold back 400 quiches.MARTIN: Must you sit at the back, Douglas?DOUGLAS: I always sit at the ba
26、ck.MARTIN: But theres only two of us in a lecture theatre with 500 seats.DOUGLAS: Some of which are at the back.DR DUNCAN: Sorry Im late, chaps, trying to intercept the caterers.MARTIN: Did you manage?DR DUNCAN: No. Hope youve got an appetite. Right, Douglas, do you want to join us down here, maybe?
27、DOUGLAS: No, Im fine.DR DUNCAN: Right, fair enough. All right, well, um, why dont we come and join you at the back?MARTIN: Oh, for goodness sake.(sound of footsteps)DR DUNCAN: Now then, I want to talk to you today about the potentially dangerous mindsets a pilot can get themselves into, and in parti
28、cular what are known as the six deadly Is. These are.MARTIN: Impatience, impulsivity, invulnerability, insecurity, indecision and “I know best“.DR DUNCAN: Absolutely, yes, gosh, well done. So, lets take them one by one. “I know best“ is the anti-authority attitude that rules and regulations dont app
29、ly to you, that you make up your own laws. Now, I dont know if either of you have ever flown with anyone like that-MARTIN: Yeah, me, I have, yes, I definitely have.DR DUNCAN: Right, well, dont name any names.MARTIN: Oh no, no, no, certainly not, no, no, no, lets um, lets call him. Dougal. Dougal ign
30、ores safety briefings, tech checks, he can barely be persuaded to file a flight plan, he basically thinks hes always right.DOUGLAS: Has it occurred to you that maybe Dougal is always right?MARTIN: Hah, its definitely occurred to Dougal.DR DUNCAN: O-kay. Great. Well next, impulsivity. Thats the tende
31、ncy of some pilots to panic under pressure, to do the first thing they think of just for the sake of doing something. Now again, you may never have.DOUGLAS: Actually, that does ring a little bell.DR DUNCAN: Oh well, again, without naming names.DOUGLAS: No, that would be the height of iniquity. Well,
32、 this chap, could be literally any of the other pilots in MJN Air, lets call him Marvin, once requested an emergency landing because his watch went off.MARTIN: It was a new watch with a very odd alarm.DOUGLAS: Oh. Have you flown with Marvin, Martin? Curious chap, isnt he?DR DUNCAN: Then theres insec
33、urity - always trying to prove hes as good a pilot as anyone else.DOUGLAS: Marvin.DR DUNCAN: Impatience - sacrifices procedure or even safety to save time.MARTIN: Dougal.DR DUNCAN: .and finally indecision: getting caught in the headlights of a problem and being unable to settle on a plan of action.D
34、OUGLAS: And Marvin.MARTIN: I thought you said Marvin impulsively did the first thing he thought of!DOUGLAS: Amazingly, he manages to combine both, doing whichever is least appropriate to the situation.DR DUNCAN: OK, well, whats good here is that were fostering a real openness between the two of you.
35、DOUGLAS: Yes, that is good, isnt it?MARTIN: Hmm, well done us!CAROLYN: All right. Where are the asbestos fire gloves kept?ARTHUR: Yes, brilliant, I know this one. In the galley, on top of the microwave.CAROLYN: No, theyre behind the captains seat.ARTHUR: Theyre not, though. Theyre on top of the micr
36、owave.CAROLYN: Yes, I know thats where they actually are-ARTHUR: Right then.CAROLYN: -but thats not where you should say they are.ARTHUR: Why not?CAROLYN: Because we probably shouldnt let the CAA examiner know we use vital safety equipment as oven gloves.(MR SARGENT coughs)CAROLYN: Ah, Mr Sargent. I
37、 was just.MR SARGENT: I didnt hear a thing, Madam. In the Air Force we used to use the CO2 fire extinguishers to cool the beer. Just dont let Dr Duncan hear you. Speaking of whom, Madam, the good doctor asked if you could bring your company portfolio to him in the seminar room.CAROLYN: The seminar r
38、oom?MR SARGENT: Oh yes. How would we won the Battle of Britain if we hadnt had portfolios in the seminar room?CAROLYN: Yees, of course. Arthur, stay here and keep revising.(CAROLYN exits, closes door)MR SARGENT: Youre having trouble revising, are you?ARTHUR: Yeah, Im not at my best with exams and st
39、uff.MR SARGENT: What are you at your best at?ARTHUR: Er. Probably crazy golf.MR SARGENT: All right, well, look, you didnt hear this from me, but should I tell you an interesting thing about the passenger oxygen generators in your aircraft?ARTHUR: Oh, yeah, please!MR SARGENT: They produce oxygen for exactly twelve minutes.ARTHUR: Thats not very interesting.MR SARGENT: Oh yes, it is.ARTHUR: No, its not.MR SARGENT: See, if I was a young lad studying for an exam, I might find it very interesting indeed.ARTHUR: Oh, right, because it might come up!
