1、personal statement 个人陈述详解(5) berkeley The Writing ProcessWriting a good college essay requires a significant investment of personal reflection, thought and time. There are no right or wrong answers-you are who you are, after all. The best way to get in touch with who you are through writing is to un
2、dertake a process of self-exploration and writing that will culminate in an essay that will reveal how unique and interesting you are.Using all the stages of the writing process will help you to?Understand your essays theme-its controlling idea?Analyze and reflect upon your experiences as they relat
3、e to your theme?Craft a polished essayDrafting, Revising and Proofreading Your Personal StatementDrafting and RevisingA draft is a work in progress. A good essay undergoes several revisions-dont assume that your first draft is your best draft! Composing often involves going back and forth among plan
4、ning the essay, generating ideas, organizing the contents, and editing the results. Drafting allow you to get the most out of these composing stages.Through the brainstorming and gathering information stages, you have generated the raw material to compose effectively. Now you will begin the process
5、of creating your essay.Your First DraftIn a first draft, you are attempting to capture your essays meaning and get it down on paper. In this way, you are attempting to draw out the essays concept.Use your first draft to:?formulate a working introduction?organize your ideasA first draft is often the
6、skeleton of the paper; it contains the overall structure, but may lack a clear theme, vivid language, fully developed paragraphs, and strong transition words and phrases.Revising Your DraftThe key to revising your essay is to determine how it seems not just to you, but to your reader. So-think like
7、an admissions officer! Remember that readers need a sense of your essays structure and a clear idea of why they should read your essay in the first place. To revise your essay:Step One: Concentrate on the whole by examining your essays frame: the introduction, the conclusion, and a sentence in each
8、that states your main theme. Ask the following questionsWill my reader know where my introduction ends and where the body of my essay begins?Will my reader know where the body of my essay ends and where my conclusion begins?Will my reader know which sentence is the main sentence in my introduction,
9、and which is the main sentence in my conclusion?Step Two: Examine your essay for continuityMake sure that your points work together conceptually-that is, that key points are unified by your essays theme.One strategy is to OUTLINE your draft. Create an outline of your draft after youve finished writi
10、ng. Your outline should include:I. Your theme as it is stated in your introductionII. Topic sentence from the first body paragraphi. example used in first body paragraph that supports the themeIII. Topic sentence from the second body paragraphi. example used in second body paragraph that supports th
11、e themeand so on.Examine the outline (which is actually an abbreviated version of your draft): does the organization make sense? Do the topic sentence indicate a conceptual progression of ideas? Does each paragraphs topic sentence FOCUS your theme, and does each example ILLUSTRATE your main idea?Ste
12、p Three: Revise for focus, clarity and depth. Make sure that the skeleton of your personal statement is fleshed out with sufficient examples, fully developed paragraphs, and meaningful prose.Style Tips Examine the personal statement for word accuracy; whenever possible, use a simpler word in place o
13、f a longer or more obscure word. Make sure that every word you use means what you think it means. Be yourself! Avoid empty words and phrases like “basically,: “really,“ “goals and dreams.“ Use active verbs whenever possible. Go through your essay and circle every form of “to be“ that you find (“is“,
14、 “are“, “were“, etc). Substitute more active verbs. For example:1.Instead of: My love of science was fostered by my second grade teacher2.Write: My second grade teacher fostered my love of science Avoid predictable (and stereotypical college essay phrases) such as “I learned a lot,“ “I learned to wo
15、rk with others,“ “It was a fun and challenging experience“ “I learned that everyone is different,“ etc. Avoid using clichs and proverbs, or other over-used phrases from literary sources. They detract from the freshness of your essay. Use a normal, 10-12 point font to type your essay. Dont type in al
16、l italics, or in bold, or in an unusual font size. Standard fonts that look nice are Times, Palatino, New York, and Courier. Avoid fancy font types-they are difficult to read.Proofreading温馨提示：专业的事情，交给专业的机构来完成。10 年来，监审留学一直致力于留学文书的写作服务，已经帮助过无数留学生申请到理想的大学，擅长美国，加拿大，英国和澳洲的个人陈述和推荐信写作。如果您有写作方面的需求可以 联系 QQ：9
17、70865017，按时交稿，绝不拖延，再也不用发愁。Leave plenty of time to proofread. If you can, put your essay aside for a few days, and then come back and look at it with fresh eyes.Some proofreading tips:?Try reading your essay backwards (last sentence first) to catch fragments or other glaring errors.?Have another pair
18、 of eyes read it as well to catch errors in spelling and grammar-your eyes, because they are used to the words on the page, can easily miss errors that another reader will easily spot.Avoid these common errorsFragmentsRun-on sentences (comma splices)Redundancy (“The reason.is because“)Spelling error
19、sSlang or colloquial languageGetting Feedback on Your Personal StatementGetting feedback from others is a critical part of writing your essay. If your teachers, peers, or parents have suggestions, listen carefully. You dont have to take every suggestion, but try them out and find out which ones work
20、. Youll want to be very specific in asking for feedback; if there are sections of your essay that you are particularly concerned about, ask your readers to pay special attention to those parts.It is very important that your essay be your own creation and be conveyed in your own words, but it is okay
21、 (and even encouraged) to get feedback from others.When soliciting feedback, steel yourself to criticism. Not everyone will see your essay the way you do. After receiving feedback, and before revising, write down the comments you receive and look for patterns. Use these patterns to decide how to pro
22、ceed. If every one of your readers thinks that your essay is too wordy, then you can be pretty sure that your essay is too wordy, and revising for a simpler, more natural style should be a top priority.Help your readers by providing a structure for them to respond. Ask your readers to comment first
23、on larger issues, and lastly on grammar or syntax (problems with which often disappear in a second draft, so commenting extensively on grammar in the first draft is often a waste of your readers time, particularly if the ideas you wish to convey are still unclear).Use the following questions as a gu
24、ide for your readers.Overall Impression1. After reading my essay, what three words would you use to describe me?2. After reading the essay, what do you think its overall theme is?3. In what way (or where) is the essay most persuasive?4. In what way (or where) is it least persuasive?Structure and Org
25、anization5. Is the essay organized in a logical fashion?6. Are the transitions between paragraphs fluid and logical?7. Do the paragraphs build upon one another, and move from smaller issues to more significant ones?Grammar and Syntax8. Are there grammar errors? If so, what are they?9. Are the words used appropriate?10. What other comments/suggestions do you have that will strengthen my essay?
