1、With China entry the WTO and will hold the Olympic Games in 2008, the relationship between China and Western in politics, economy, culture will become more and more close. It is undoubtedly that the etiquette will play an important role in this process. To the definition of etiquette, China and West
2、ern have a different understanding. As Chinese thinks that the etiquette is the common behavior standards that all the members must obey, and its purpose is to keep the normal living order of the society. In ancient China, a famous philosopher thinks that etiquette is a principal to deal with the re
3、lationship between man and supernatural beings, man and ghosts, man and men. There are also many words about etiquettein English. For example, courtesy which means courteous behavior, good manners;protocol which means system of rules governing formal occasion, e .g, meetings,between governments, dip
4、lomats, etc. And these words are all from the same French word etiquette. Of course, more spread and more profound cultural comment of the western etiquette is from the Classical Period, i.e., old Athens and Roma culture. Today, etiquette become the reflection and manifestation of one countrys polit
5、ics, economy, culture in peoples social contact. And it include the principal and moral that people should obey in daily life. Etiquette formed in the process of the deposition of culture and social contact. So every nation have their own etiquette standard which created with the spirit of this thei
6、r nation. Because of this formed the cultural difference between different nations. As languages is the carrier of the human culture. This difference must reflect in the language of different nations. So in the following, we will take china, British and America as the representation of Western, to l
7、ook at some cultural differencein etiquette, and then analyze the reasons. Furthermore, we will discuss how tolearn western culture. 一.Cultural differences on politeness between western and Chinese can be found in many aspects of daily communication, including addressing, greeting and parting,compli
8、ments, apologies, thanks, etc. In the following, we will look at some cultural different between China and western. 1.Greeting and PartingWhen people meet acquaintances or friends, people usually greet each other. The purpose of greeting is to establish or maintain social contact. So formulaic expre
9、ssions are often used, but such formulaic expressions often causes conflict because of the great cultural differences between Chinese and native Englishspeakers. In English, people often employ the following expressions to greet each other “Good morning/evening/afternoon. “Fine day, isnt it? ”How is
10、 everything going?” Have you eaten yet?” What are you going to do?” Where have you been?”etc. Westerners treat them as real question. While in Chinese, we alwayssay “你吃了吗？”“你上哪里去？”“ 你干什么去？”to show our consideration. Parting may be divided into two steps. Before the final prating, there is usual a le
11、ave-taking. Western and Chinese cultures have diverse ways to deal with leave-takings. Firstly, in English society, during the closing phase of an encounter, from ”I” perspective, reasons for terminating the encounter are presented in mitigatory comments. Typical comments are associated with express
12、ions of apology,such as “I” am afraid I must be off, I have to relieve the baby-sitter” etc.Western people believe that to be willing to visit and converse with someone isto have respect for him.; to terminate the visiting is not of ones own free will, but because of some other arrangements, therefo
13、re they always try to make their leaving sound reluctant by finding some reasons and apologize for it to make the leaving acceptable for both parties. English speakers often signal severaltimes before leaving. “Well, its been nice to see you again. I do enjoy our talk and the lovely dinner, but I mu
14、st be going soon”. Thank you very much for asking me over. I hope well be able to get together again before long” Consolidation in a wider range of common acquaintances also occurs, in expressions such as “Say hello to Jack for me” or “Remember me to John”. In Chinese society, during the closing pha
15、se of and encounter, usually, from a “you ”perspective, reasons for ending the encounter are set forth in mitigatory expressions. Such expressions include“你挺忙的，我就不多打扰了。 ”“你一定累了，早点休息吧，我要告辞了。 ”, etc. With these words, they may stand up from their seats. Chineseleave-taking is very short and quick. Wes
16、tern people think it so abrupt that they have not prepare for it. While moving to the door, Chinese employ expressionsof apology like“对不起没，打扰了。 ”“对不起，占用你不少时间。 ”It should be noted that these expressions employed by Chinese guests to show concern for theirhosts can only be appropriate for business vis
17、its in the English environment2.AddressingBoth western and Chinese people have two kinds of personal names-a surname anda given name. But the order and the use of these names in the two languages aresomewhat different. In Chinese, the surname comes first and then the given name. And people like add“
18、小”before their family name. Such as“小王”、 “小郑”、“小李 ”、 “小徐”and so on. While westerners names are written and spoken withthe given name first and the family name last. So John Smiths family name is Smith, not John. In a formal setting, address men as “Mister“ (abbreviated as “Mr.“), married women as “M
19、isses“ (abbreviated as “Mrs.“), and unmarried women as “Miss“ (abbreviated as “Ms.“). These days many women prefer to be addressed usingthe abbreviations “Ms.“ or “M.“, pronounced “miz“. If the person has an M.D. orPh.D., they will often be addressed as “Doctor“ (abbreviated as “Dr.“). Facultyare ad
20、dressed as “Professor“ (abbreviated as “Prof.“).In an informal situation,westerners will introduce each other by first name, without titles, and occasionally by just the last name. If you are introduced to somebody by first name, you can address him or her by first name the next time you meet. The o
21、nly exception would be for someone who holds an important position, such as the university president or provost. Unless they tell you otherwise, faculty should be addressedusing their title and last name (e.g., “Professor Smith“). When in doubt, use the formal manner of address, since it is better t
22、o err on the side of formality.It is also appropriate to ask how they prefer to be addressed. Children should always address adults in the formal fashion, using their title and last name. Another difference is about the form of addressing. From the viewpoint of sociolinguistics, forms of addressing
23、can serve as an indication of the relationship of power and solidarity in the society. In calling their superiors or elders, theChinese are accustomed to the nonreciprocal or asymmetrical addressing, in other words. They use “title +surname” to address their superior or elders rather than call them
24、surnames, while the superior or elders call the addressers their names. The Chinese tend to abide by the polite principle of depreciating oneselfand respecting others to show appropriate respects towards the persons being addressed, otherwise, the addresser may be considered as ill mannered, ill edu
25、cated or rude. But in English speaking countries, people have a tendency to follow the reciprocal or symmetrical addressing. Although they are different in age and status, they can call the other directly, namely, their names, even first names except when they call the doctors, not arousing offence
26、between them, but demonstrating the sense of intimacy and the conception of” Everyone is created equal”. Chinese people feel unnatural addressing a westerner by his given name, feeling that it indicates too close a relationship, and westerners, on the other hand,may feel that if a Chinese insists on
27、 using his surname, it indicates an unwillingness to be friendly and maintains a gap between them. So the use of forms like” Miss Mary” or “Mr. Smith ” may be a Chinese forms of compromise. With Miss Mary, the use of the given name indicates friendliness, but the addition of the title indicates the
28、respect they feel they ought to show. And with Smith, the lack of a title indicates friendliness, but the use of the surname prevents if sounding too intimate. However, both addressing used by the Chinese sound very strange and uncomfortable to the westerner. 3.Compliments and ResponseTo compliment
29、is to praise the addressees virtues, ability, behavior, appearance, clothing, personality and belongs. Appropriate compliments can serve as effective supplementary means in inter-personal communication. Western and Chinese culture are at polar opposites about compliment. An western hostess, if she i
30、s complimented for her cooking skill, is likely to say,” Oh, I am so glad that you liked it. I cook it especially for you.” Not so is a Chinese hostess, who will instead apologize for giving you “Nothing”. They will say“随便作几个菜，不好吃。 ”If translate this into English“I just made some dishes casually and
31、 they are not very tasty. Perhaps the foreigner will think why you invite me to you family and have the untasty food. You arent respect me. The English-speaking peopleare more active to praise others and to be praise than Chinese people. For example, the Americans are “straight forwardness”, the Chi
32、nese take pride in “modesty”. That modesty has left many a Chinese hungry at an Americans table, for Chinese politeness calls for three refusals before one accepts an offer and the Americans hosts take ”no ” to mean “no ”, whether it is the first, second or third time. Still bigger differences exist
33、 in peoples attitude towards compliments, i.e., in the response to compliments. Chinese are tend to efface themselves in words or refuse it, although they do feel comfortable about the compliments. So many westerners simply feel puzzled or even upset when their Chinese friends refused their complime
34、nts. The Chinese people are not intending to be modest with the sacrifice of friendship in so doing, but it is ratherdue to the traditional Chinese philosophy, that of modesty. The Chinese people regard modesty as a most valuable virtue, so they seldom agree to the complimenton their own.4.Apologies
35、 and ResponsesIf wrong things are done, there must be apologies .As to how to offer apologies,both western and Chinese people may “I am sorry.”,”I apologize for”. Etc. But Chinese would like to apologize for the crowded state of their dwellings and for small numbers of dishes, although the room is b
36、ig enough and there are many dishes. Chinese stay these to express self-depreciation only out of courtesy, not having other implication. But the westerners would wonder, since the room is so large and there are so many dishes, why do they say so. May be they do notwelcome our visit, they dont like u
37、s to eat more. When Chinese contact with westerners, if they do not know these differences, if will lead to misunderstanding. The ways to respond to apologies are different, too.A: Oh, Im sorry. I forget it.B1: It doesnt matter.B2: Thats all right.B2 is westerners. B1 is a Chinese person. “It doesnt
38、 matter” is a translation of “没关系”from Chinese, which is a common pattern in Chinese to respond to apologies. If a Chinese uses this to respond to apologies, westerners will thinkthat he is a sharp person, who simply cannot forgive a very little wrong thing.5. Thanks and Responses“Thank you” is wide
39、ly used in English to show gratitude in such cases as beinginvited, helped, given a gift, etc. Cultural differences exist between Chinese and western in how to express thanks and responses. In fact, “Thank you” is uttered in English for more than acknowledging favor or gratitude, and it is oftena me
40、ans to show politeness. On many occasions, the English use this utterance while the Chinese may say “有劳您了。 ”or do not say a word at all but just smile or nod. As a matter of fact, “Thank you ” is used more widely by westerners than Chinese use“谢谢”, for minor favors like borrowing pencil , asking dir
41、ections, requesting someone to pass on a message , receiving a telephone, etc. “Thank you” not only shows politeness but also carries a persons grateful feeling for those who offer help. Without using expressions of gratitude, misunderstandings may arise because the help seems to be taken for grante
42、d and is mot appreciated, For westerners, each person is an equal individual, whether he is a family member of not. In Chinese, “谢谢”is not frequently used between intimate friends and family members because it may imply a certain distance between the addresser and the addressee. Native speakers may
43、respond to “Thank you ” by saying: You are welcome /Its a /my pleasure/ Not at all/ Dont mention it/Thats all right. While Chinese people may say:“这是我应该做的 ”， which may convey to westerners the message that the Chinese did not really want to do it, or that he/she did it only because it wall his/her d
44、uty. This message is quite different from what the Chinese speaker intended to express. 6. Asking Personal AffairsPeople from China do not regard it as asking personal affairs when they ask others name、year、marital status、wages 、personal life、belief and political points. It is regard as concerns. Wh
45、ile the westerns will think you 侵犯 their right of privacy. when we talk to the westerns, we must avoid asking some questions like this:“How old are you?”、 “Are you married？”、 “How many children do you have？” 、 “How much do you make？”、 “Whats your weight?”、 “Do you go to the church？”7.Invitation and
46、Saying Good-Bye In the culture of British and America, it is very important to consult a time before you invite somebody to attend a banquet or take part in social activities. Esp. in America, invite somebody means you are borrow times of others. So they respect time very much. While in China, peopl
47、e are prefer to an uninvited guest. And otherwise, You will be thought unfriendly if you cannot receive an uninvitedguest very well. 8.关切语 In China, we always say“你辛苦了！”、 “你一定累了吧！”to show our consideration when somebody from far place. While the westerners do it in a different way. They will say “How is your trip? “You must be very interesting.“ These sentencesare all express in psychological aspect. Concerning the old people is the virtue of human race. But different cultures have different styles. In China, people will say“您年纪大了，你坐吧！”when they 让座 to a old man. But this is regardedas taboo.
