1、What I Know About Beauty Now That Im in My 30sI spent more than 10 years in womens magazines, and I write a beauty blog with a critical slant. But my real qualification for sharing my thoughts on beauty is 35 years of womanhood.I spent more than 10 years in womens magazines, and I write a beauty blo
2、g with a critical slant. But my real qualification for sharing my thoughts on beauty is 35 years of womanhood. From dabbling in my grandmothers makeup kit at age 5 to trying anti-aging creams for the first time last year, navigating the messages I send with my appearance - to myself and those around
3、 me - has been a part of my life for as long as I can remember. For just as long, Ive been asking what goes on behind the scenes in the ways any of us present ourselves. Heres some of what Ive learned.How you feel has little to do with how you look.At age 20 I felt near-constant panic about the circ
4、umference of my thighs. At 35, I look at photos from 15 years ago and - well, you know the punch line. My thighs looked fine. I havent released all insecurities, but I now recognize that self-image reflects mood and psyche, not actual appearance. Wincing about some flaw is a convenient funnel for st
5、ress, and its certainly easier than unpacking Jungian angst. My own psychology aside, Ive witnessed this in extensive interviews Ive conducted with dozens of women. Ive talked with a former model who couldnt look in the mirror at times; Ive talked to women with quotidian looks who have no problems p
6、roclaiming, “I am beautiful.“ The way the world treats a woman may differ depending on how closely she matches an idealized beauty standard. But that treatment is secondary to your attitude toward your appearance. Part of the lesson here is that each of us has the power to dictate her own beauty. Bu
7、t the other part is that if women all over the beauty map are saying the same things, maybe beauty has less to do with how any of us look and more to do with how our culture regards women.Beauty is a shortcut to enchantment.Nearly every woman Ive interviewed about beauty will mention the same person
8、: her friend who isnt necessarily genetically blessed but who owns any room she walks into. You know that person, right? (Maybe you are her, in which case, mazel tov!) Call it je ne sais quoi, sprezzatura, or just “It“ - when you possess that quality and conduct yourself as though youre something to
9、 behold, you become something to behold. For all the hand-wringing over how women go to absurd lengths to look beautiful, I suspect most of us are after that luminous essence, not cookie-cutter beauty. But we use beauty as a route to that essence, and why wouldnt we? Magnetism only comes once you ha
10、ve a degree of comfort with yourself - far more difficult to source than a nice shade of lipstick. Allure is possibly the best-named womens magazine out there, because it slices through beauty to get to what were really after.The power of attractiveness is weaker than you think.Theres plenty of chat
11、ter about how attractive people earn more money. Thats true, but whats often overlooked is that the benefits of attractiveness are greater for men than for women - and in some fields, attractive women are penalized for their looks. But even if beautiful women were universally earning more, when mana
12、gerial positions are still more likely to be occupied by men, that boils down to women pecking around for crumbs left by people with real power, who can rescind the power of beauty at whim. Im not saying life isnt easier in some ways for conventionally attractive people. But the power of pretty ofte
13、n boils down to little more than free drinks.Tip well.If you cant afford at least a 20% tip for your hairstylist, manicurist, or whoever is doing any sort of beauty work on you, you cant afford the service. Youre in your 30s now. Be a lady.Its okay to mourn your youth. But theres plenty to celebrate
14、, too.We get lots of messages about looking younger - and we also get messages countering that notion. Ive only recently developed early signs of aging - under-eye bags, fine lines. Women older than me may say I dont know aging yet, but being new to it means Im new to the emotions that accompany get
15、ting older. Im thrilled theres a thriving pro-aging sentiment out there, but I sometimes feel like Im wrong for having any sense of loss for my youth. I miss staying out until 4 a.m. and showing up at work resembling a homo sapien; I miss the radiance I had that I now only get with impeccable self-c
16、are. Im making peace with those things, and age-positive sentiments are part of that. But if we dont allow permission to feel any sadness about the processes of time, were not clearing the path for joys that lie ahead. And there are plenty of those, physical and otherwise: I look conventionally bett
17、er now than I did 10 years ago. In my 30s, my skin stopped freaking out; I know what hairstyles and colors suit me. Theres an undeniable beauty to youth, sure. Theres also an undeniable beauty to maturity.Self-esteem isnt found in a jar - but the jar doesnt wreck your self-esteem.Well-meaning people
18、 sometimes make the mistake of thinking makeup equals insecurity - that women wear cosmetics to conceal shame about our natural selves. That can be the case, but many of us wear makeup because it creates a division between our private and public lives. I “put on my face“ because Im a social creature
19、, and makeup is an internal signal that Im functioning socially. Its an “on“ switch as much as it is a cover-up. Nobody should feel pressured to wear makeup - or be effectively fired for not doing so - but we shouldnt feel ashamed about doing so either. You cant look your best unless youre comfortab
20、le, but comfortable can mean many things. If makeup helps you feel emotionally comfortable, dab and swipe away, my friend.Beauty is work.You already know this, of course; you understand exactly how much labor it takes to get ready in the morning, recalibrating depending upon how many times you hit s
21、nooze. But we often hide our beauty labor from men, and sometimes from one another. As much as I want to maintain a certain mystique, its important to not hide behind-the-scenes “dirty work.“ We may think we poke fun at women who go over-the-top in chasing the beauty standard because they look silly
22、 or vain, but its more that theyre exposing the work many of us do on a lesser level: We laugh at Snookis tan because it reveals our private application of graduated tanning cream; we snark at Kardashianesque eyelashes because we have the good taste to stop at one coat of Sable Brown. Maybe if we we
23、re more transparent about the preparations we took for the performance of public life, we might better be able to understand what were after with all our careful work.Most beauty tips dont matter. Here are 21 that do.A manicure always helps. Good primer is worth the money. A dab of retinoid cream do
24、es wonders. Eat vegetables, drink water, get enough calories. Find a concealer that perfectly matches your skin. Stop with the photo face. Know the lipstick corollary. Get the best haircut you can afford. If you dont feel great in it, dont wear it. Grooming your eyebrows will brighten your face, and
25、 so will letting them grow naturally if you feel shame creep over you every time you tweeze. Exercise. Find your best colors, but dont be limited by them. Shoulders back, pelvis tucked. Red wine makes for a great lip stain. Dont gawk at yourself in every reflective surface available. Quit shampooing so much. Remember that its called beauty sleep for a reason. Remember sunscreen. And remember that its impossible to look your best when youre trying to look like someone else.
