1、1读后续写之提分秘籍细节描写考试说明中评分原则部分规定，读后续写阅卷时按 5 个档次给分。参考最高档次第五档（21-25 分）的描述并考虑写作部分评分的其它因素，可以认为一篇优秀的读后续写具备以下特征：1. 内容丰富充实，与所给短文融洽连贯；2. 连接成分应用得当，行文结构紧凑一体，与所提供各段落开头语的衔接紧密合理；3. 使用并用下划线标示 5 个以上短文中标出的关键词语；4. 词汇丰富高级，语法准确多变（主被动句式、各类从句、特殊句式、非谓语动词等的使用情况灵活恰当、不拘一格、游刃有余） ；5. 词数充分，150 词左右。评分细则规定少于 130 词的，从总分中减去 2 分；6. 拼写准确
2、，英式或美式拼法皆可；7. 标点合理，使用得当。读后续写基本是以记叙文为主，而记叙文是以记人叙事为主要内容，以叙述为主要表达方式来反映丰富多彩的现实生活的一种文体。一般来说，完成一篇完整的记叙文写作，需要选取合适的角度、按照一定的顺序组织素材进行叙述，其中包括六个基本要素：时间、地点、人物，事情的起因、经过和结果，即我们通常所说的五个“W” （what, who, when, where, why）和一个“H” （ how） 。除此之外，鲜明的主题和生动的语言，也是一篇优秀的记叙文所不可或缺的。描写作为记叙文的一种辅助的表达方式对加强文章的表现力发挥着重要的作用，它要求我们善于捕捉细节、刻画细
3、节，有时还可以用上比喻、拟人、夸张等修辞手法。一篇好的作文往往因为一两处细节描写而出彩。同样地，议论、抒情的表达方式对记叙文主题的展现也发挥着重要的作用。一、情感心理描写在写作中，对人物情感的描写常常能使人物的形象显得生动鲜活。人的情感可以分很多种，如喜悦、满意、失望、悲伤、憎恨、愤怒、惊讶、恐惧、赞赏等等。在英语中有很多不同的词和句式来表达这些不同的情感。 喜悦 1. He is very happy and sweet. 他又高兴又甜蜜。 2. They didnt know what to do with themselves for joy. 他们高兴得不知道怎么办好。 3. He j
4、umped for fun. 他高兴得跳了起来。 4. Her face brightened up. 她喜形于色。 More examples:1. The smile on her face shone like a diamond.2. His eyes twinkled with pleasure.3. I was wild with joy.4. I was pleased beyond description.5. She wore a shining smile on her face.6. Her smile lit up the whole room.27. She shed
5、 tears of joy.8. She was overflowing with happiness.9. Her flushed face was shining with excitement.10. I was floating on air. 满意 1. The result is satisfactory. 结果令人满意。 2. It is difficult to please everybody. 众口难调。 3. There is always a smile of contentment on her face. 她脸上总是挂着心满意足的微笑。 4. She belongs
6、 to those who are very difficult to satisfy. 她属于那种极难讨好的人。 5. Seeing their task finished gives them a sense of satisfaction. 看到任务完成了，他们感到很满意。 惊讶 1. Im surprised to find you here. 在这里看到你我很奇怪。 2. Its nothing to be surprised about. 这不值得大惊小怪。 3. To my surprise, he didnt come yesterday. 令我吃惊的是他昨天没有来。 4. S
7、he looked at me in amazement. 她惊奇的看着我。 5. Her appearance fairly took my breath away. 她的美貌令我神魂颠倒。 6. Everyone looked at her in astonishment. 大家都惊讶地看着她。 悲伤 1. He looks so sad. 他看起来很悲伤。 2. He is no stranger to sorrow. 他生活在悲伤中。 3. His sad story makes her feel pity. 他的悲惨经历使她深表同情。 4. His wifes disease too
8、k away his appetite. 妻子的病令他茶饭不思。 5. The news depresses her. 这个消息让她愁苦。 More examples:1. He stood silently, tears rolling down his cheeks.2. I feel like I am floating in an ocean of sadness.3. Hearing the news, so desperate was he that he drowned sadness in wine.4. She burst into tears and ran out of
9、the room.5. She sobbed, hiding her face in her hands.6. I tried to fight back tears. 7. My eyes were filled with tears.8. A frown（皱眉）now stood on his face.9. These days he was in low spirits. 愤怒 1. She was burning with anger. 她怒火中烧。 2. He easily loses his temper. 他很容易发脾气。 3. He was in a rage. 他大发雷霆。
10、 34. She was red with anger. 她因为发怒脸涨得通红。 More examples:1. I was seized by anger.2. His anger boiled over.3. He could hardly/scarcely contain his rage.4. His voice trembled with anger.5. He gave me a look of burning anger.6. He glared at me with burning eyes.7. His face clouded with anger. 感动1. Touch
11、ed deeply/immensely, we2. Tears filling her eyes, she offered her heartfelt gratitude.3. With tears streaming down her face, she. 害怕He turned to me, with his eyes full of horror.She was struck with horror when.She was choked by fear.Her face turned pale and stood there tongue-tied.Fear flooded over
12、him.Her heart beat so violently that she felt nearly suffocated（窒息）.She shook all over, feeling like sitting on pins and needles.二、动作描写动作描写也是描写人的重要一点。利用适当的词语对表达人们的心理和性格有很大的帮助。 表达说话的动词： speak:说，讲，说话，演说。着重开口发音。 say:说，说话。意义非常广泛，是一般用语。着重内容，指连贯的说话。 talk:讲，说话。着重说话的动作，而不着重所说的话。它多指两个人或多个人在一起讲话。tell:说，告诉，讲。指
13、把一件事情传达给别人或讲述一个故事等。有连续叙述的意思。 chat:闲谈，聊天。多指非正式的，轻松的，愉快的，没有中心地、没有特殊目的地谈话或聊天。含有亲热的意味。 1. gossip:只在后面说人是非，闲谈他人的事情。 2. Can you child speak yet? 你的孩子会说话了吗？ 3. He said he wanted to go to town. 他说他想去城里。 4. I want to talk to you about an urgent matter. 我想和你谈一件紧急的事。 5. Tell me what happened. 告诉我发生了什么事。 46. Th
14、ey dropped in for a chat last night. 他们昨晚顺便来闲聊了一会儿。 7. You shouldnt listen to gossip. 你不应该听流言蜚语。 表示笑的动词： smile:“微笑” 。通常指好意的微笑，无声的微笑，如表示亲切、愉快等。 laugh:“笑” ， “发笑” 。指一般的笑。 beam:“笑” 。指面露喜色，带有笑容的意思。 1. She smiled when she saw me. 她看见我时露出微笑。 2. We all laughed loudly when she made a joke. 她说了个笑话，我们都大声笑起来。 3
15、. He beamed on his visitors. 他对着客人们微笑。 表示哭我们可以说： cry:“哭泣 ”、 “流泪” 。意义及用法最广泛。多强调声音，指呼号和叫喊地哭，一般由于痛苦，悲哀，恐惧，也可能是欢呼引起的。 weep:“哭泣” 、 “流泪” 。指不出声的哭，着重在由于悲伤而流泪。 sob:“哽咽” ， “呜咽” ， “啜泣” 。指尽力抑制自己的感情时发出抽泣的声音。也可以指哭诉。1. She started to cry when she heard the sad news. 当她听到这个悲痛的消息时，她开始哭了。 2. She wept the death of the
16、 child. 她哀悼孩子的死亡。 3. The child sobbed loudly. 这个孩子大声地哭泣。 表示走的动词： go:“走” ，意义范围较广，是一般用语。表示向一定的地点运动。 walk:“步行” ， “走” 。表示有目的或无目的的步行、散步、游玩。 pace:“走过” ， “踱步” 。尤指以普通的步子走。 wander:“徘徊” ， “到处走” ， “漫游” 。侧重无确定路线。 1. We went by plane. 我们是乘飞机去的。 2. I cant walk about in this heat. 在这种大热天我简直无法走动。 3. The fence is on
17、ly ten paces from the house. 围墙离屋子只有十步远。 4. The children wandered in the woods. 孩子们在森林里漫步。动作描写美句欣赏1. The first actor was dragging through the snow when the second began walking towards him trembling with cold.第一位演员在雪地里拖着脚步艰难移动，这时候第二位演员朝他走去，身子在寒气中不仅颤抖。2. I still remember the shock that rooted me flat
18、 against the wall.我仍然记得当时惊呆了，靠在墙上，一动不动。3. The pounding in my ears drowned out the rest of the words, only a word here and there filtered through.我的耳朵里嗡嗡作响，听不见他们后来讲的话，只是东一点西一点渗入的只言片语。54. I stared at him in shock and a small sound of dismay escaped my throat.我惊愕地盯着他，不禁发出轻轻的沮丧声。5. Standing with all the
19、 dignity I could muster, I said nothing.带着所有的尊严，我站在那里一句话都没说。6. I clasped my hands behind my back so he wouldnt see them shaking.我紧握着双手藏在背后，这样他就看不见我的手在发抖。7. The last words came out in an eager rush.最后几个字是急切地蹦出来的。8. He went back to hoeing the weeds that sprang up between the delicate little bean plant
20、s.他又去锄生在在青嫩的豆苗间的杂草了。9. The next day, it was a very sad and withdrawn girl who dragged into the principals office.第二天，我沉默不语，一副十分伤心的小女孩的模样，拖着脚步走近校长办公室。10. He looked out of the window, biting his lips, as if thinking.他一边看着窗外，一边咬着嘴唇，仿佛在思考。三、练一练：找找下面的励志美文中动作、神态、心理描写If the Dream Is Big Enough, the Facts D
21、ont CountI used to watch her from my kitchen window, she seemed so small as she muscled her way through the crowd of boys on the playground. The school was across the street from our home and I would often watch the kids as they played during recess. A sea of children, and yet to me, she stood out f
22、rom them all.I remembered the first day I saw her playing basketball. I watched in wonder as she ran circles around the other kids. She managed to shoot jump shots just over their heads and into the net. The boys always tried to stop her but no one could.I began to notice her at other times, basketb
23、all in hand, playing alone. She would practice dribbling and shooting over and over again, sometimes until dark. One day I asked her why she practiced so much. She looked directly in my eyes and without a moment of hesitation. She said, “I want to go to college. The only way I can go is if I get a s
24、cholarship. I like basketball. I decided that if I were good enough, I would get a scholarship. I am going to play college basketball. I want to be the best. My Daddy told me if the dream is big enough, the facts dont count.” I had seen over and over again.Well, I had to give it to hershe was determ
25、ined. I watched her through those junior high years and into high school. Every week, she led her varsity team to victory.One day in her senior year, I saw her sitting in the grass, head cradled in her arms. I walked across the street and sat down in the cool grass beside her. Quietly I asked what w
26、as wrong. “Oh, nothing,” came a soft reply. “I am just too short.” The coach told her that at55”she would probably never get to play for a top ranked teammuch less offered a scholarshipso she should stop dreaming about college.6She was heartbroken and I felt my own throat tighten as I sensed her dis
27、appointment. I asked her if she had talked to her dad about it yet. She lifted her head from her hands and told me that her father said those coaches were wrong. They just did not understand the power of a dream. He told her that if she really wanted to play for a good college, if she truly wanted a
28、 scholarship, that nothing could stop her except one thing her own attitude. He told her again, “If the dream is big enough, the facts dont count.” The next year, as she and her team went to the Northern California Championship game, she was seen by a college recruiter. She was indeed offered a scho
29、larship, a full ride, to a Division I, NCAA womens basketball team. She was going to get the college education that she had dreamed of and worked toward for all those years.Its true: If the dream is big enough, the facts dont count.心中有目标，风雨不折腰我曾经常常从厨房窗口观察她，她用力挤过操场上的一群男生时显得那么瘦小。学校在我们房子的对面，经常可以看见孩子们在课
30、间休息的时候玩耍。那里有一大群孩子，但是对于我来说，她在人群中一样突出。 我记得第一次看见她时，她正在打篮球。我惊奇地看着她绕着那些孩子跑。她越过其他孩子的头顶成功投进球。男孩们总是试图拦阻她，但是没人能做到。我开始在其他时候注意她，她总是独自一人，手里拿着篮球练习。她一次次地练习带球，射篮，有时一直持续到天黑。 有一天我问她为什么这么勤奋地练习。她直视着我的眼睛，毫不犹豫地说：“我想上大学。只有获得奖学金我才能上学。我喜欢篮球。我决定了如果我足够优秀，我就可以获得奖学金。我打算进校队。我想成为最优秀的球员。爸爸告诉我心中有目标，风雨不折腰。 ” 之后她微微一笑，跑向球场去做一遍遍的练习。是啊
31、，我得承认她意志很坚定。在初中，高中那些年岁里，我一直看着她。每周，她都会带领校队赢得胜利。她高三那年，我看见她坐在草地上，头埋进臂弯。 我穿过街道，坐在她旁边凉凉的草地上。我小声地问她出什么事了。 “哦，没什么， ”她柔和地回答。 “我就是太矮了。 ”教练告诉她一米六五的她没法跻身高水平的球队更不用说得奖学金所以她不要再奢望上大学了。她很伤心，感觉到她的失望我也觉得喉头发紧。 我问她有没有把这事告诉她父亲。她从臂弯中抬起头，说她父亲说那些教练是错误的。他们不知道梦想的力量。他告诉她如果她真的想进一所好大学打球，如果她真的想得到奖学金，没有事情可以阻挡她，除了一样东西她自己的态度。他对她说：“心中有目标,风雨不折腰。 ”第二年，当她和她的队伍进入北加州锦标赛时，她被一位大学招聘人员接见。她真的获得了奖学金，并且成为 NCAA 女子篮球队一队正式球员。她这么多年梦寐以求和不断拼搏的大学之梦终于圆了。心中有目标，风雨不折腰。的确如此。
