1、Screw you, small mood【TED】滚蛋吧小情绪Lecturer：Guy WinchI grew up with my identical twin.我和我的双胞胎哥哥一起长大。who was an incredibly loving brother. 他是个富有爱心的好兄弟。Now, one thing about being a twin is that it makes you an expert at spotting favoritism. 要知道，作为双胞胎，你很快就在意见事上成为专家。就是注意到偏爱。If his cookie was even slightly
2、bigger than my cookie, I had questions. 比如他的饼干比我的大哪怕一点点，我就会质疑。And clearly, I wasnt starving. 当然，我也没有被饿着。When I became a psychologist, I began to notice favoritism of different kind, 我成为一个心理学家，我开始注意到另一种不同的偏爱，and that is how much more we value the body than we do the mind. 当那就是我们赋予我们的身体比精神更多的价值。I spen
3、t nine years at university earning my doctorate in psychology, and I cant tell you how many people look at my business card and say, ”Oh, a psychologist, So not a real doctor,” as if it should say that on my card. 我花了九年时间获得了心理学博士学位，但不知道有多少人看了我的名片说：“哦，心理学家，原来不是真正的医生。 ”This favoritism we show the body
4、 over the mind, I see it everywhere. 这种对身体多于精神的偏爱随处可见。I recently was at a friends house, and their five-year-old was getting ready for bed. 我最近在朋友家，他们五岁的小孩准备上床睡觉He was standing on a stool by the sink brushing his teeth, when he slipped, and scratched his leg on the stool when he fell. 他站在小凳子上，在水池边刷牙
5、，然后他滑了下来，摔倒的时候划了他的腿。He cried for a minute, but then he got back up, got back on the stool, and reached out for a box of Band-Aids to put one on his cut. 他哭了一下然后就爬起来，站回小凳子上，拿了一个创可贴贴在他的伤口上，Now, this kid could barely tie his shoelaces, but he knew you have to cover a cut, so it doesnt become infected,
6、and you have to care for your teeth by brushing twice a day. 这孩子刚学会系鞋带，但他都知道要保护伤口以免感染，同时还要一天刷两次牙来保护牙齿。We all know how to maintain our physical health and how to practice dental hygiene, right? 我们都知道怎样保持身体的健康，还有怎样保持牙齿卫生，对不对？Weve known it since we were five years old.我们从五岁的时候就知道这点了。But what do we know
7、 about maintaining our psychological health? Well, nothing. 但是我们知道怎样保持精神上的健康吗？完全不知道。What do we teach our children about emotional hygiene? Nothing. 我们教给孩子们情绪保健吗？完全没有。How is it that we spend more time taking care of our teeth than we do our minds? 为什么我们花在牙齿的时间比花在精神上的时间还多呢？Why is it that our physical
8、health is so much more important to us than our psychological health? 为什么我们那么重视身体健康，远远多于心理健康呢？We sustain psychological injuries even more often than we do physical ones, injuries like failure or rejection or loneliness. 我们承受心理上的伤害比身体上的多的多，例如失败、被拒绝、孤独。And they can also get worse if we ignore them, an
9、d they can impact our lives in dramatic ways. 如果我们忽视它们，情况也会恶化，他们同样会给我们的生活带来重大的影响And yet, even though there are scientifically proven techniques we could use to treat these kinds of psychological injuries, 然而，虽然有科学实证的疗法，来帮助我们治疗这些心理上的伤，we dont. 我们却没有采取行动。Its doesnt even occur to us that we should.甚至我们
10、都没有意识到我们应该采取行动。“Oh, youre feeling depressed? Just shake it off, its all in your head.” 哦，你抑郁了吗，别去想了，都在你脑袋里。Can you imagine saying that to somebody with a broken leg: ”Oh, just walk it off, its all in your leg.”你能想象对一个骨折了的人说这样的话吗？“走走就好了，都在你腿上呢。 ”It is time we closed the gap between our physical and o
11、ur psychological health.我们应该消除这种队身体和精神健康的区别对待。Its time we made them more equal, more like twins. 应该把两者对等起来，像双胞胎兄弟一样。Speaking of which, my brother is also a psychologist. 说到双胞胎，我弟弟也是个心理医生。So hes not a real doctor, either. 所以他也不是一个医生。We didnt study together, though.我们不是在一起上的学。In fact, the hardest thin
12、g Ive ever done in my life is move across the Atlantic to New York City to get my doctorate in psychology.事实上，我这辈子做过最难的事就是跨过大西洋搬到纽约，来读心理学的博士学位。We were apart then for the first time in our lives, 那是我们俩第一次分割两地。and the separation was brutal for both of us.这个分离对我俩来说都很残酷。But while he remained among famil
13、y and friends, I was alone in a new country. 当他和家人朋友在一起时，我却孤零零的在一个新的国度。We missed each other terribly我们都很想念对方but international phone calls were really expensive then and we could only afford to speak for five minutes a week.，但那个时候的国际长途真的非常贵，我们一周只打得起五分钟的电话。When our birthday rolled around, it was the f
14、irst we wouldnt be spending together. 当我们的生日到来的时候，那是第一个我们没能在一起过的生日。We decide to splurge, and that week we would talk for 10 minutes. 我们决定奢侈一下，我们聊上了十分钟。I spent the morning pacing around my room, waiting for him to calland waiting and waiting, but the phone didnt ring.那天早上我在房间里跺来踱去，等着我哥哥给我打来电话，我等啊等但是电
15、话就是不响。Given the time difference, I assumed, ”Ok, hes out with friends, he will call later.” 由于时差的关系，我就想，好吧，他是和朋友一起出去了，他晚点会打来的。There were no cellphones then. 那时候也没有手机。But he didnt. 但他始终没有打来。And I began to realize that after being away forever 10 months, he no longer missed me the way I missed him.我开始
16、意识到，在我离开十个月后，他不再像我想他一样想我了。I knew he would call in the morning, but that night was one of the saddest and longest nights of my life.我知道他早上会打来，但那一晚是我人生中最伤心最漫长的一晚。I woke up the next morning, 第二天一早醒来I glanced down at the phone, and I realize I had kicked it off the hook when pacing he day before.我瞅了一眼电话
17、，然后我意识到在我来回踱步的时候，我把电话线踢掉了。I stumbled out off the bed, 我从床上跳了起来。I put the phone back on the receiver, and it rang a second later, and it was my brother,我刚把电话插回接口一秒钟，电话就响了。 and boy, was he pissed. 是我哥哥，他可气坏了。It was the saddest and longest night of his life as well.那也是他一生中最伤心漫长的一晚。Now I tried to explai
18、n what happened, but he said, ”I dont understand, if you saw I wasnt calling you, why didnt you just pick up the phone and call me?“我试图解释，但他说， “我不明白，如果我没有打给你，为什么你不打给我呢？”He was right, why didnt I call him? 他说的对，我为什么不打给他呢？I didnt have an answer then, but I do today, and its a simple one, loneliness.我当
19、时没有回答他，但我现在明白了。非常简单的原因：孤独。Loneliness creates a deep psychological wound, one that distorts our perceptions and scrambles our thinking.孤独导致深重的心理创伤，扭曲我们的感知能力，剥夺我们的思考能力。It makes us believe that those around us care much less than they actually do. 它使我们相信身边的人不再在乎我们，It makes us really afraid to reach out
20、, 它使我们不敢与人联络，because why set yourself up for rejection and heartache when your heart is already aching more than you can stand?为什么给自己自取其辱呢，你的心痛还不够多吗？I was in the grips of real loneliness back then. 我那个时候被孤独紧紧包围着but I was surrounded by people all day, so it never occurred to me.但我总和别人在一起我自己都没有意识到。But
21、 loneliness is defined purely subjectively.但孤独完全是从主观上定义的。It depends solely on whether you feel emotionally or socially disconnected from those around you. 它完全取决于你是否觉得在情绪上或者是交往上和你周围的人相隔绝。And I did.我当时是这样的。There is a lot of research on loneliness, and all of it is horrifying.我们有很多孤独的研究都很可怕。Loneliness wont just make you miserable, it will kill you. Im not kidding.
