1、Desperate Housewives - Episode 04.02 Smiles of a Summer NightWISTERIA LANE DAY“The great crime wave hit Wisteria Lane on a Tuesday afternoon. Thats when residents found their barbeques upended.”BREES BACKYARDBree finds her barbeque tipped over.“Their clean laundry trampled.”KATHERINES BACKYARDKather
2、ine picks up a shirt from the ground that has a mud footprint on it.“And their skateboards missing.”SCAVO FRONT YARDParker looks around but cant find his skateboard.“Naturally everyone began to ask who could be responsible for such carnage.”Bree and Katherine in the front yard talking. In the backgr
3、ound is Gabrielles home.“The answer lay in home of a neighbor who twenty minutes earlier had been engaging in.”GABRIELLES BEDROOMGabrielle and Carlos are in bed making out.“an all together different type of crime.”Carlos: “Oh I gotta get back. Told Edie I was going for a jog. Do I look sweaty enough
4、 for five mile run?”Gabrielle: “Yeah, unfortunately its my sweat. When are you gonna dump her?”Carlos: “Its complicated, okay? (Carlos begins getting dressed) Besides, I dont see you in any big hurry to dump Victor.”Gabrielle: “Generally speaking women dont leave their husbands for guys who have gir
5、lfriends. Just boot the Bitch. What are you afraid of?”Carlos: “Hey, I am not afraid of her.”Carlos looks out the front window and falls to the floor behind the dining room table.Carlos: “Oh my God!”Gabrielle: “What the hells the matter with you?”Carlos: (pointing outside) “Edie!”Gabrielle looks out
6、 to the front porch and sees Edie coming up the steps. Edie knocks, Gabrielle grabs her clothes.Edie: “Gaby? Are you in there?”Gabrielle: “One second!”Gabrielle opens the front door.Gabrielle: “Edie? What brings you here?”Edie: “Im looking for Carlos. He went for a run but it was hours ago.”Gabriell
7、e: “Sorry, I havent seen him.”Edie: (entering Gabrielles house) “Really? Because Ida Greenburg said she thought she saw him on your porch.”Gabrielle: “Thats impossible because hes there! (pointing outside and yelling) There he is! Carlos? Hes at your house. Oh, he just let himself in. There you go,
8、hes home.”Edie: “Oh, okay, well thanks.”Edie leaves. Gabrielle closes the door as Carlos comes out of hiding.Carlos: “You told her I was at home.”Gabrielle: “So?”Carlos: “So Im not at home! Im here! What the hell am I supposed to do?”GABRIELLES FRONT YARDGabrielle comes running out of the house as E
9、die is driving out of Gabys driveway.Gabrielle: “Edie! Edie wait! Wait, wait, wait, dont go! Dont go!”Edie: (stopping in the street) “Why?”Gabrielle: “You have a birthday coming up and I dont know what to get you.”As Gabrielle leans on Edies car window Carlos runs across the street behind Edies car.
10、 Carlos runs through the neighbors gate into Brees yard knocking over the barbeque.EDIES CARGabrielle: “Or maybe a coffee pot or scented hangers or a nice clock radio.”Edie: “Gaby, I dont have time for this. Why dont you just surprise me.”Gabrielle: “Ahh. Wait, dont go! I need a little more guidance
11、!”Edie drives off. Carlos runs across Brees yard into Katherines yard and throw her laundry hanging on the line. Edie continues driving home. Carlos sees Edie driving down the street when a basketball bounces in front of her car causing her to brake. He stops Parkers skateboard. The Scavo twins run
12、into the street and chase the ball.Edie: “Damn it boys! You should not be screwing around in the street! Somebodys gonna get hurt!”As Edie begins driving home, Carlos, on the skateboard, is hanging off the back of her car. As she pulls in front of home, Carlos rolls off the skateboard and runs to th
13、e house. He grabs at the locked door. Edie walks into the front door.Edie: “Carlos!”Carlos is in the living room staring at the side door in which the window is broken.Carlos: “Can you believe this? Someone broke into our house?”Edie: “Oh my God!”“And so ended the great crime wave on Wisteria Lane.
14、No one ever found out who was responsible.”Carlos puts his arm around Edie. Edie pulls away.Edie: “Ooo. Youre all sweaty. Go clean up.”“Because. it was an inside job.”OPENING CREDITSWISTERIA LANE - DAYA young man smiling, walking his dog passes a smiling Ida Greenburg.“You will never see despair her
15、e, or rage.”A mailman handing a resident her mail, smiling.“You will never see the tiniest bit of regret.”BREES FRONT DOOROrson exits with his briefcase. He goes to his car as Edie passes by powerwalking.“You see, the people who live here have learned there is one sure way of hiding their secrets fr
16、om their neighbors.”Edie: “Hey/”KATHERINES FRONT YARDKatherine waves at Gabrielle, Bree and Susan who are having coffee in Susans front yard. They wave back.“Thats why in the suburbs there is nothing more deceptive than a smile.”Bree: “So what did Julie say exactly?”Susan: “She said Dylans not the s
17、ame girl.”Gabrielle: “Not the same girl like shes changed or not the same girl like shes been replaced by a robot?”Susan: “I know it sounds weird but Julie says Dylan does not remember anything about living here.”Bree: “Well maybe she blocked it out. Did something bad happen to her when she was youn
18、g?”Susan: “Im not sure but there was something odd about the way the left.”Katherine walks up.Katherine: “So if it isnt the early morning gossip brigade. Who are we dishing today?”Gabrielle: “Oh, Susan.”Katherine: “Shes standing right there.”Gabrielle: “Oh my god! Have you been there this whole time
19、?”Susan: “Ha ha.”Katherine: “Anyway. I wanted to talk to you girls about Lynette.”Susan: “What about her?”Katherine: “Well since shes been so tired from Chemo, I thought it would be nice if we something for her like bring her lunch?”Susan: “Ah, that sounds great.”Bree: “Yeah, lets do it. Gaby, why d
20、ont you bring your vegetable lasagna, Susan you do beverages. And Katherine why dont you bring a simple green salad.”Katherine: “Id rather bring dessert.”Bree: “Oh, no need dear. I always bring dessert. Oh, Im thinking my Lemon Meringue pie.”Gabrielle: “Oh yum!”Katherine: “Yeah, heres the thing. The
21、 movers lost my salad bowl. My pie plates on the other hand”Bree: “Will not be needed. As I said I always bring dessert.”Susan: “I know. I will lend you my salad bowl. You really dont want to miss Brees pie. Its perfect.”Katherine: “Who am I to argue with perfection. Oh Im sorry, it just something h
22、as been driving me crazy!”Katherine pulls mini scissors out of her pocket. Leans over and snips a hanging thread off Brees skirt.Katherine: “Now youre perfect.”Katherine turns and walks away as the girls look shocked.FAIRVIEW HOSPITAL CANCER WARDLynette is receiving chemotherapy while she and Tom ar
23、e playing cards. Tom keeps staring at the needles going into Lynettes arm.Tom: “Does it hurt?”Lynette: “Its a little uncomfortable but Im fine. Pick a card.”Tom picks a card and puts it down immediately. Lynette picks it up.Lynette: “Hey, I told you Im collecting queens, pay attention.”Tom: “Remembe
24、r we played this when you went into labor with Parker? Forty two hours without meds. Ill never forget what a trooper you were.” (starts tearing up.)Lynette: “Well lets not compose my eulogy just yet. Im still troopin. Pick a card.”Tom: “Right.”Tom picks a card.Tom: “Its funny. We played cards on our
25、 honeymoon the day that it rained. Do you remember that? We lit a fire”Lynette: “Youre doing it again.”Tom: “Sorry.”Tom puts down a card.Lynette: “Hey, I told you Im collecting queens.”Tom: “Shoot. Thats right.”Lynette: “Oh my god! Are you letting me win?”Tom: “I just want to make you feel good.”Lyn
26、ette: “By taking all the fun out of the kill?”Tom: “Honey, Im sorry. Its just I love you so much.” (tearing up again)Lynette: “Out!”Tom: “What?”Lynette: “You are supposed to be distracting me not depressing the hell out of me!”Tom: “Youre kicking me out of chemo?”Lynette: (waving him away) “Ill see
27、you at home.”Tom: (getting up) “Honey. Im your ride.”Lynette: “Just go. Ill cab it!”Tom: “Theres that trooper that I admire so much.” (tearing up again)Lynette: “Out!”Tom leaves as Lynette shakes her head.WISTERIA LANE DAYCarlos arrives home and sees a brand new convertible in front of their house.
28、Edie comes running out of the house.Edie: “Carlos! Hi!”Carlos: “Hey. Theres my birthday girl. Nice car. Got company?”Edie: “No.”Carlos: “Whose is it then?”Edie: “Its your birthday present to me. Surprise!”Carlos: “A car? Ah. I was going to get you earrings.”Edie: “So, get em. And I will drive around
29、 with the top down so everyone can see them.”Carlos: “Edie, I cant afford this.”Edie: “Of course you can. Just move some of your off shore money, on shore.”Carlos: “I told you that account was a secret. Which is not going to be for long if I start buying eighty thousand dollar cars.”Edie: “Now Im se
30、nsing that this little nest egg of yours is a tinsy bit illegal. Whered it come from?”Carlos: “You dont need to know that and the IRS doesnt either. You want me to go to jail?”Edie: “Goodness Carlos. I had no idea that your situation was so precarious. Well. I guess Ill just have to take this back t
31、o the dealership.”Carlos: “Thank you for understanding, Babe. Look, if you dont want the earrings, just pick something else out instead. Just not too extravagant.”Edie: “Dont worry, I have a thought, and its right in your price range.”Edie speeds away.KATHERINES HOUSESusan walks up the steps with a
32、salad bowl and rings the bell.FLASHBACKKatherine house long time ago. Katherine opens the door. A young Susan and young Mary Alice are at the front door.Susan: “Hey, whats going on?”Mary Alice: “Why is there a moving van in your driveway?”Katherine: “Oh, I meant to call you. Its just been so nuts! I
33、 got a new job in Chicago.”Mary Alice: “So youre just leaving like that?”Katherine: “I know its crazy, huh? I really wish I had time to talk but I gotta finish packing.”Susan: “Oh no, hang on. Let me just run and get Julie so she can say goodbye to Dylan.”Katherine: “Oh, were really in a rush. I don
34、t think were going to have time.”A crashing noise comes from upstairs.Katherine: “Thats okay guys, keep packing. Ill clean it up.”Susan: “Katherine. Are you okay? You seem a little jumpy.”Katherine: “I.I just had a long night and I have a lot to do. Im really going to miss you.”She closes the door o
35、n them.PRESENT DAYKatherine opens the door. Susan: “Katherine, hi. Oh, I brought you that salad bowl.”Katherine: “Oh thank you. You are so thoughtful.”Susan: “No problem. Hey, you know, I was meaning to ask you. How did that job in Chicago work out?”Katherine: “Job?”Susan: “You know the one that you
36、 left so suddenly for.”Katherine: “Oh right, yes, of course. It worked out well. Very challenging.”Susan: “Oh.”Katherine: “Ive got something on the stove. Id better go.”Katherine closes the door on a bewildered Susan.SUSANS KITCHENMike and Susan are having breakfast. Susan has a full plate of pancak
37、es and fruits which she is pouring syrup on.Mike: “Susan.”Susan: “What? Im eating for two.”Mike: “Well do both of you want to be fat?”Susan: “Okay, when Im in labor and Im pushing and screaming to bring your child into the world, do you really want me to remember that you denied me syrup?”Mike: “Car
38、ry on.”Julie entersJulie: “Mom, I need to talk to you about tonight. (looking at Susans full plate) Oh my god. (Mike shakes his head)Susan: “Is it about Matts party?”Julie: “Yeah. It turns out that is doesnt start until Ten so can I stay our until One?”Susan: “Well, um. Well the Johnsons live right
39、down the road. Yeah. I guess its fine.”Julie: “Thanks.”Mike: “Whoa, whoa. Is this the Johnsons over on Crestview?”Julie: “Yeah.”Mike: “Yeah. I dont think you should go to that.”Julie: “Why not?”Mike: “Ive done a couple jobs at that house and they have some really wild parties. I dont even want to te
40、ll you what Ive snaked out of that toilet.”Julie: “Those are his brothers parties. Matts not like that.”Mike: “All seventeen year old guys are like that. The only reasons my buddies and I even had parties was to get girls wasted.”Julie: “Well, I dont drink.”Mike: “Neither did Missy Taylor and fast f
41、orward to her tying her bra on my antenna.”Julie: “I really appreciate your concern but my Mom already told me I could go.”Mike: “Well, thats true. Just giving my opinion. Its up to your Mom.”Mike and Julie stare at Susan.Susan: “Well, um, you both make a good case. Um, but I think Im gonna have to
42、agree with, ah, and you know I love you both.”Julie: “ Decide!”Susan: “Mike, Im going with Mike.”Julie: “What?”Susan: “Well, it sounds like this party could be on the wild side and it is starting very late.”Julie: “This is so unfair.”Susan: “Im sorry, Honey, you wanted a decision. This is my decisio
43、n.”Julie: “Ahh.”Julie disgusted, walks away. Susan pours more syrup.Mike: “More syrup?”Susan: “Missy Taylor?”Mike: “Carry on.”KAREN MCCLUSKYS FRONT YARD DAYKaren is getting her mail just at Dylan walks by.Karen: “Look at your little Dylan. All grown up. Karen McCluskey. I babysat you way back when.
44、You were a biter.”Dylan: “I hope I didnt hurt you.”Karen: “Nah, you were a cutie, but loud! I remember the racket you use to make on your tricycle. I gave your Dad hell for putting that horn on it.” Dylan: “My Dad? How could you know my Dad? He left when I was a baby.”Dylan: “Nah, he use to come aro
45、und once in a while. Anyway, nice to have you back.”Karen walks away.LYNETTES KITCHENSusan, Bree, Gabrielle and Katherine are working as Lynette sits at the kitchen table.Lynette: “Please let me help, I feel so guilty just sitting here.”Bree: “Do not move. We want to pamper you, please let us.”Lynet
46、te: “Thank you.”Susan: “Hey, so hows the Chemotherapy going?”Gabrielle: “Oh, no, no. She doesnt want to talk about that.”Lynette: “I dont mind.”Gabrielle: “Come on, lets dig into the pie. It looks amazing.”Gabrielle takes a mouthful.Gabrielle: “Wow!”Susan: “Oh my God. That is like the best pie youve
47、 ever made.”Bree: “Well, thank you. I dont think I did anything differently.”Bree takes a bite.Bree: “This is not my pie.”Katherine: (laughs) “Okay you caught me. Its mine.”Bree: “What happened to the pie that I brought?”Katherine: “Oh I was a little sneaky and I put in the fridge. I just wanted you
48、 to try mine.”Bree: “Well did we or did we not agree that I would bring the dessert.”Katherine: “I know but everyone says youre such an amazing baker and I was hoping you could give me some tips to improve my recipe.”Bree: “Clearly no tips are needed. As my friend said, best pie ever made.”Katherine: “Well then perhaps you shouldnt have said anything. I would have been happy to let everyone think it was yours.”Susan: “So back t
