1、Application Essay 写作 第三课 Example Structure Example StructureThe Example Structure follows the rules of a traditional academic essay: begin with a main argument or thesis statement, follow this with three pieces of evidence that support the argument, and wrap up by stating what the essay has shown. T
2、his is a good structure to use when making a single, strong point. Its power lies in its simplicity. Because it allows you to present several points neatly in support of a single claim, it is especially useful for making a persuasive argument. This format will be most helpful when writing short essa
3、ys, but for longer personal statements, it might appear formulaic and dull. One of the more creative structures described below might draw attention more successfully to your writing.SAMPLE ESSAY 1:Carnegie-Mellon, current affairs: Middle East debateA Greek philosopher once said, “In argument, truth
4、 is born.” Even though sometimes feelings and emotions come into play that confuse the issue at hand, usually an argument results in a new insight on the subject. Even if a person holds strong views that are unshaken by anything his adversary may say, he may nevertheless gain from the debate. It for
5、ces him to organize and analyze his views, leaving him with a clearer understanding of the subject than before. Further, his opponents arguments help him better appreciate his views and their differences. Finally, the argument forces both to look inwards, at their character and value system.For thes
6、e reasons, I enjoy debating issues that are important to me and about which I hold strong views. One such issue receiving great national attention is the Middle East peace process. While the peace process has always been important to the American community as a whole, and more specifically to the Je
7、wish American community, the assassination of Israel Prime Minister Yitzhak Rabin has focused the spotlight upon it, as well as intensified the debate around it. Since I attend a private Jewish school, I often discuss this topic with my peers, often finding myself in the minority. Most of them suppo
8、rt the peace process, while I adhere to the views of the Likud (opposition) party, which opposes the peace process.Complicating the issue are several emotional stigmas that are often attached to it, transforming the discussion from an objective one to one driven by passion. The foremost of these sti
9、gmas is the accusation, which is often hurled at the opponents of the peace process, of promoting war and violence. Often made by people who know little about the issue, this view fails to realize that opposition to the peace process does not imply opposition of peace. Rather, it implies disapproval
10、 of certain tactics and specifics of the peace process as it was carried out by Rabin.Another commonly advanced accusation against American Jews who disagree with the peace process centers around the question of whether they have the right to influence Israeli policy. “You dont have to send your chi
11、ldren to the Army,” it is said, “your children dont die in wars. What right have you to oppose peace?!” The fallacy of this argument is that it doesnt differentiate between belief and action. While it is true, for precisely the reasons above, that American Jews have no right to try to influence Isra
12、eli policy, that does not preclude them from having ideas of what that policy should be.Finally, the assassination of Yitzhak Rabin has introduced yet another dimension into this debate. In its aftermath, opposing the peace process sometimes is identified with condoning the assassination itself. Suc
13、h an identification of the man and his beliefs involves grave dangers, such as rashly implementing his ideas in a flurry of compassion and commiseration.温馨提示：专业的事情，交给专业的机构来完成。10 年来，监审留学一直致力于留学文书的写作服务，已经帮助过无数留学生申请到理想的大学，擅长美国，加拿大，英国和澳洲的个人陈述和推荐信写作。如果您有写作方面的需求可以 联系 QQ：970865017，按时交稿，绝不拖延，再也不用发愁。What all
14、 of these stigmas have in common is that they forsake logical and objective debate, opting rather for emotions, generalizations and accusations. And the dangers of that happening are the main lesson I learned from my debates. While those debates have shed new light on the issue and have forced me to
15、 reconsider what I think is moral and just, most importantly they have demonstrated the necessity of objectiveness and removal of emotions from the discussion, especially when, as in the case of the peace process, thousands of lives are at stake. When passions and hatred take over, we must stop and
16、think of what it all is really about.COMMENTS:The social concerns or ethics essay is notoriously difficult to write. This essayist tackles it well with solid arguments, clear thinking, and good structure. The main suggestion for improvement came from one officer who felt that the statements made in
17、the first paragraph were too broad and lofty for a college essay.Very clear headed.This student put time and energy into this essay and it shows in the writing style, the flow of discourse and the conclusions that the writer comes to in the end. It is a well thought out essay with depth and focus.Th
18、is essay is well written, and brings out an interesting point of view, one of which I had not been aware until now. This author grasps the subtleties of a difficult political position. I think he would be an interesting person to know, and would certainly make people think, both in class and in discussions outside of academics.The argument in the essay is logical and substantiated with solid examples, making it an effective representation of the students thought and writing style while revealing the students personal opinions on the Middle East peace process.
