1、“墨菲定律 ”、 “帕金森定律 ”和 “彼德原理 ”并称为二十世纪西方文化三大发现。 墨菲定理 ： 1. 人生哲学 墨菲定理 一 If anything can go wrong,it will。 如果事情还能更糟的话，它会的。 In nature,nothing is ever right. Therefore,if everything is going right . something is wrong。 在现实生活中，没有什么事情是永远正确的。所以，如果每件事都在朝好的方向发展 一定出问题了。 It is impossible to make anything foolproof b
2、ecause fools are so ingenious。 愚蠢是不可避免的，因为愚蠢太富有创造力了。 Nothing is as easy as it looks 没什么事情像看上去一样简单。 Everything takes longer than you think 每件事总比你估计的要多花点时间 Whenever you set out to do something,something else must be done first 每当你准备做什么的时候，总有些别的事你得先做了。 Every solution breeds new problems 每个解决办法都会衍生出新的问题
3、。 The legibility of a copy is inversely proportional to its importance 文件的可读性和它的重要性是成反比的。 The chance of the buttered side of the bread falling face down is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet 面包往下掉的时候，抹了 果酱的 一面 着地 的概率 最大 。 You will always find something in the last place you look 东西总是在你最
4、后去找的地方被发现。 墨菲定理 二 Left to themselves,things tend to go from bad to worse 听之任之的话，事情一般不会向好的方向发展。 After you bought a replacement for something youve lost and searched for everywhere,youll find the original 在你丢了东西到处找不到并买了新的后，你就会找回原来丢了的那样。 The other line always moves faster 你旁边的车道总是比你这条走得快些。 When a broke
5、n appliance is demonstrated for the repairman,it will work perfectly 每次演示给修理工看电器如何不正常运作时，它都干得挺好。 Build a system that even a fool can use,and only a fool will use it 建立一个连傻瓜都会用的系统的话，一般只有傻瓜才会去用。 Everyone has a scheme for getting rich that will not work 每个人都有套没法运作的致富计划。 In any hierarchy,each individual
6、 rises to his own level of incompetence,and then remains there 在任何等级制度中，每个独立个体都会迁升到力所不能及的职务，然后就呆在那儿了。 The better you know the amount of ill luck that will strike you, the worse you know when this will happen 你越清楚厄运的危害 ，你越不知道它什么时候降临。 Your best golf shots always occur when playing alone 你最好的分数一定是你一个人玩
7、的时候得到的。 He who angers you controls you,there-fore you have no control over your anger 都是那些让你愤怒的人控制你，所以你没法 控制你的愤怒 。 No matter how hard you try,you cannot push a string 不管你怎么努力，你不能推一根绳子。 墨菲定理 三 Murphys Law Current Revision Any thing that can go wrong,HAS Already Gone Wrong! You just havent been notifi
8、ed 墨菲定理现代版： 如果事情还能更糟的话，它已经有那么糟了，只是你没发觉罢了。 all good things come to those who wait. but,dont wait too long or they will pass you by. like 2 ships that pass in the night. never again to return that same exact site 好事情总是为等待它们的人来临，但是，不要等太久，它们会擦肩而过，就像两艘夜航的船，再也回不到本可以相逢的那个刹那。 No degree of acceptance can eve
9、r change the facts 没有任何限度的接受可以改变现实。 Beauty is only skin deep,fashion even shallower 如果美貌是肤浅的话，时髦连汗毛都没沾上。 A person without values or standards can never be a hypocrite 一个没有价值观和做人标准的人是不可能成为伪君子的。 Dont let go of something until you have a hold of something else 不管是西瓜还是芝麻，没捡到前别把手里的扔了。 It takes forever to
10、 learn the rules and once youve learned them they change again 规则不容易掌握，一旦掌握了，规则又变了。 The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds, the pessimist fears this is true 乐观主义者声称相比前生和来世，我们生活的世界是最好的，悲观主义者就怕这是真的。 You will find an easy way to do it,after youve finished doing it 你总能找出一
11、个更便捷的方法，在你已经做完这件事以后。 The wind will always blow opposite to your hairdo 风永远不顺着你的发型吹。 Window polishing: Its always on the other side 擦窗法则：不干净的老是在另一面。 墨菲定理 四 Anyone who isnt paranoid simply isnt paying attention 没有得妄想症的人普遍注意力不集中。 Whenever you cut your finger nails,you find a need for them an hour later
12、 每次剪了指甲后没多久，就有用得着它们的地方。 Nothing is impossible for the man who doesnt have to do it himself 对一个不需要自己来做的人来说，没有什么是不可能的。 Probabilities serve only and exclusively to determine the degree of improbability of the catastrophes that actually take place 概率，也只有概率，是用来解释为什么不大可能发生的灾难发生了。 Two wrongs dont make a ri
13、ght. It usually takes three or four 错错不会得对。一般要错上个三四次才行。 If the truth is in your favor no one will believe you 如果真相对你有利，没人会信你。 The difference between Stupidity and Genius is that Genius has its limits 天才和愚蠢的区别是天才有它的局限性。 Those who dont take decisions never make mistakes 不做决定的人是不会犯错的。 Murphys Metalaw K
14、nowing Murphys Law will never help 墨菲星际定理：知道墨菲定理不会带来任何帮助。 Everything that could possibly go wrong for anyone else always seems to happen to you 那些谁碰上都倒霉的事儿老是在你身上应验。 The person ahead of you in the queue,will have the most complex transaction possible 排在你前面的人总是有最复杂的手续要办。 2. 爱情意义 墨菲爱情定理 一 A good women/
15、men are like parking spots,all the good ones are taken 一个好女人或者好男人就像泊车位一样，好的都给占了。 Brains x Beauty x Availability = Constant. This constant is always zero 智慧和相貌以及可行性的乘积是个常量，而这个常量总是为零。 Money cant buy love,but it sure gets you a great bargaining position 钱不能买到爱情，但毫无疑问它的份量可以影响杠杆的平衡。 Sex takes up the leas
16、t amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble 性爱只需要最短的时间就能带来最多的麻烦。 No matter how many times youve had it,if its offered take it,because itll never be quite the same again 不管你曾经拥有了多少次，如果还有的话，接受吧，因为每次都是不同的。 If it seems too good to be true,it probably is 如果令你难以置信的话，你最好还是别信。 When a mans wife le
17、arns to understand him,she usually stops listening to him 当一个男人的妻子学会去理解她丈夫的时候，她一般不再听他怎么说了。 The qualities that most attract a woman to a man are usually the same ones she cant stand years later 某个男人最吸引某个女人的品质也就是多年后那个女人所不能容忍的。 Sex is hereditary. If your parents never had it,chances are you wont either
18、 性爱是遗传的。如果你父母从来没有过，那你也不会有的。 It was not the apple on the tree but the pair on the ground that caused the trouble in the garden 在花园里造成麻烦的不是树上的苹果，而是那双在地上的脚。 墨菲爱情定理二 Before you find your handsome prince,youve got to kiss a lot of frogs 在发现你的英俊王子之前，你已经吻过了无数只青蛙。 There may be some things better than sex,an
19、d some things worse than sex. But there is nothing exactly like it 有些东西可能比性爱好，有些东西可能比性爱差，但没有一样东西是像性爱那样的。 If the effort that went in research on the female bosom had gone into our space program,we would now be running hot-dog stands on the moon 如果把用在研究女人胸部的精力放在航天计划上的话，我们或许已经在月球上练摊儿了。 Love is a matter
20、 of chemistry,sex is a matter of physics 爱是化学反应，性是物理反应。 It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all 爱过了，失去了，好过爱也没爱过。 A woman never forgets the men she could have had; a man,the women he couldnt 女人永远不会忘了那个她曾经可以拥有的男人；男人永远不会忘了那个他没可能拥有的女人。 It is better to be looked over than over
21、looked 匆匆一瞥好过目中无人。 Dont do it if you cant keep it up 不能继续下去的话，最好还是别做。 Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another 爱，是一种错觉，让你认为某个女人不同于另一个。 If youre heart is broken,sweep up the pieces. There will always be someone who will want to put it back together 如果你的心碎了，把碎片收拾起来。这世上总会有人想要把它补好。 墨菲爱情定
22、理 三 Love and high-school must NEVER go together 爱和高中永远也走不到一起。 Never trust a woman who acts like you are so sexy she cant help herself but drag you to bed 如果一个女人表现出因为你长得太性感以至于控制不住把你往床上拽得话，别信她。 The Key to a womans heart is an unexpected gift at an unexpected time 打开女人心的钥匙是在一个意想不到的时间送上份意想不到的礼物。 The two
23、 thing no man can ever understand; Women and what makes all men complete damm fools over women 有两件事没一个男人能搞明白：女人，和是什么让所有男人在女人面前变得绝对愚蠢。 The man shalt not win the argument he started The man shalt not win the argument he didnt start If a man won an argument,it was just in his head 男人挑起的争论，他赢不了。不是他挑起的，他
24、也赢不了。如果他赢了，那只有他这么认为。 Before falling in love do take your backup,it always helps in recovery 在坠入爱河之前请 备份 ，有助于伤后恢复。 Love has all the answers. But till then sex brings up some good questions 爱有了所有的答案。只是后来，性又带来些有意思的问题。 Anticipation is 98% of the pleasure 期待占据了快乐的 98%。 Marriage is the greatest leveler 婚姻
25、是最 伟大的平均主义者。 If youre having difficulties choosing between potential two girls,youll always pick the wrong one 如果你准备结束脚踩两只船的状况，基本上你抽回了那只不该抽的脚。 墨菲爱情定理 四 If it seems perfect today,tomorrow it will end 如果今天看上去完美的话，明天将是终结。 Never make love in your back garden. Love is blind,but not your neighbors 别在你的 后花
26、园 做爱。爱是盲目的，你的邻居不是。 Love is blind. Marriage is an eye opener 爱是盲目的，婚姻就是撑起眼皮的小棍儿。 Your best friend stop being your best friend the instant a beautiful woman walks in and you both are attracted to her 在一个美女走过来而你和你最要好的朋友都被她迷住的一刹那，你最要好的朋友不是你最要好的朋友了。 Women are like boats: they require constant maintenance
27、 and attention,and they cost a lot of money. Men are like buses: another one will eventually come along 女人像游艇：需要定期的维护和关注，而且花费很高。 男人像公共汽车：下一班迟早会来。 Romance is when common sense flies out of the window 浪漫就是常识从窗口飞出去了。 Beauty is directly proportional to the number of drinks consumed 眼里的美貌与肚子里的佳酿成正比。 Any
28、“Why“ question,has no answer,and if it does,that answer is not logical 任何 为什么 的问题都没有答案，如果有的话，答案也不合乎逻辑。 If you love a person let them go. If they dont come back they werent worth it 如果你爱一个人，让他走。如果他没回来，他不值得你 去爱。 To get your significant other you need: Time. Money and Energy. The sum of the three is co
29、nstant. If you are short of one of them,you need quite a lot of the remaining two. If you are short of two of them,you need tremendous amount of the remaining one. If you are short of all the three,no hope. Otherwise the result is always success. 想要得到你的另一半，你需要：时间，金钱和精力。 三者的总和是常量。 如果缺其中一样，另外两样的投入相应增加
30、。 如果缺其中两样，剩下的那样需要巨大的投入。 如果三样都缺，没希望。 除了这些情况，结局都是成功的 . 墨菲爱情定理 五 You dont pay for sex,you pay him/her to leave after youre done 你不是花钱买乐子，你只是在完事后付钱让他 /她离开。 Beaches law: If you think a girl is beautiful,her boyfriend will always be there to confirm it 沙滩法则：如果你认为一个女孩漂亮的话，她的男朋友总会在那儿证实你的观点。 Marriage is like
31、 a dog with a bone,he might not touch it,just doesnt let another dogs come near it 婚姻关系就像一只狗和一根骨头，他 /她可能碰都不碰那骨头，只是不允许其他狗靠近。 The difference between love and the common cold is that for the common cold there is a vaccine 爱和感冒的区别在于感冒是有药可治的。 Being told that someone doesnt want to date you because youre
32、such a good friend,is like being told that you didnt get the job because youre overqualified 被告知某人不愿和你约会是因为你是个难得的好朋友，就像被告知你得不到这份工作是因为你资历太高了一样。 You dont fall in love,you fall in a hole. The depth of the hole is proportionate to how oblivious you are of the fall 你不是坠入爱河，你是掉在坑里。坑的深度和你对掉进去的健忘程度成正比。 3. 科
33、技定理 墨菲科技定理 一 Logic is a systematic method of coming to the wrong conclusion with confidence 逻辑就是一个让人充满信心的，系统的得出错误结论的方法。 An expert is one who knows more and more about less and less until he knows absolutely everything about nothing 专家就是那些在越来越狭窄的领域里知道得越来越多的人。照此推下去，总有一天他们会在空无的领域里知道一切。 Tell a man there
34、 are 300 billion stars in the universe and hell believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint on it and hell have to touch to be sure. 告诉一个人宇宙有三千亿颗星星他会相信的。告诉他椅子刚漆过他非用手摸一下以确证。 Nothing ever gets built on schedule or within budget 没什么东西可以按计划或预算内完成的。 The first myth of management is that it exists 管理神话第一篇：
35、管理的存在。 A failure will not appear till a unit has passed final inspection 失败总在通过了最后的检验后出现。 To err is human,but to really foul things up requires a computer 人总会犯错，但要把事情搞砸还需要一部电脑。 We dont know one millionth of one percent about anything 我们对任何事情所知的还 不到百分之一的百万分之一。 Any sufficiently advanced technology is
36、indistinguishable from magic 任何充分绝对完全先进的技术和魔法没什么区别。 A computer makes as many mistakes in two seconds as 20 men working 20 years make 一台电脑在二十秒里犯的错误相当于二十个人在二十年里犯的错误的总和。 墨菲科技定理 二 Nothing motivates a man more than to see his boss putting in an honest days work 没什么比看到老板老老实实的干一天活更能激励员工的了。 Some people mana
37、ge by the book,even though they dont know who wrote the book or even what book 一些人喜欢按图索骥，甚至有时他们都不知道是谁画的图，或甚至于是什么图。 To spot the expert,pick the one who predicts the job will take the longest and cost the most 如何甄别专家？那个认为该项目需要最长时间并需耗费最多资金的家伙就是。 Computers are unreliable,but humans are even more unrelia
38、ble. Any system which depends on human reliability is unreliable 电脑靠不住，人更 靠不住。靠人维护的所有系统当然也靠不住。 If you cant understand it,it is intuitively obvious 如果你没法理解一件事，说明这件事在直觉上是显而易见的。 In designing any type of construction,no overall dimension can be totaled correctly after 4:30 p.m. on Friday. The correct to
39、tal will become self-evident at 8:15 a.m. on Monday 不管任何建筑设计，大样图是不会在周五下午四点半以后校正合成的。周一早上八点十五分以前它会自动校正合成。 The only perfect science is hind-sight 仅有的完美的科学就是马后炮。 If its not in the computer,it doesnt exist 对于今天来说，如果不存在电脑里的，那就是不存在的。 When all else fails,read the instructions 怎么也搞不定的话，看一看操作说明吧。 Any instrume
40、nt when dropped will roll into the least accessible corner 工具总是掉在那些不容易捡的角落里。 墨菲科技定理 三 Any simple theory will be worded in the most complicated way 任何简单的理论均会给予最复杂的文 字表述。 A difficult task will be halted near completion by one tiny,previously insignificant detail 一项任务在完成前会由于一个微小的先前曾经是微不足道的细节而中断。 The re
41、maining work to finish in order to reach your goal increases as the deadline approaches 离截止日期越近，为达到目标而需完成的工作 越来越多。 Dont fix something that aint broke,cause youll break it and you still cant fix it 别修理那些还没停工的家伙，不然的话你会把它整停工了而且还修不好。 If you are not thoroughly confused,you have not been thoroughly inform
42、ed 如果你还没彻底糊涂的话，说明你还没获取足够的信息。 Never trust modern technology. Trust it only when it is old technology 千万别信最新科技。得等它有点岁数了。 The most ominous phrase in science: “_Uh_-oh . . .“ 最不吉利的科技短语就是， 啊呀。 It is simple to make something complex,and complex to make it simple 把事情搞复杂简单，把事情搞简单复杂。 A man with one watch is certain about time. A man with two watches isnt
